Yes, friend, you read that correctly. In 1674, an anonymous source released a satirical pamphlet entitled the "The Women's Petition Against Coffee," which decried the effect of coffee on men's libidos with the filthy wit of a sexually frustrated Samantha Jones. This work argues that men "come from it with nothing moist but their snotty Noses, nothing stiffe but their Joints, nor standing but their Ears." The men's response, was of course, equally filthy. It claimed that coffee, "makes the erection more Vigorous, the Ejaculation more full," and "adds a spiritualescency to the Sperme."