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These Unspeakable Acts Remain Permissable After The UK Porn Ban

Cry. Key.

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The UK Parliament recently banned several sex acts in porn.

Because you can't spell "Parliament" without "l-a-m-e."
Independent / Via independent.co.uk

Because you can't spell "Parliament" without "l-a-m-e."

Which is strange, considering their usual celebrations of sex working individuals.

So progressive in some ways, really.
BBC News / Via Twitter: @AndrewBloch

So progressive in some ways, really.

But degenerates can rejoice, as there are still several vile acts that are legal in the UK.

BBC / Via stepchildofthesun.tumblr.com

Well, plenty!

You can still force this adorable cocker spaniel to live in a human body and perform in films.

Phil Cole / Getty Images

Or eat an alleged "food product" called "blood pudding."

instagram.com

Recipe written by three witches, dwelling in Hell.

You can rob Kim Kardashian to outfit the protectors of a barbaric monarchy.

Apparently our national treasures aren't allowed to have nice things.
Gary Blakeley/ThinkStock/WENN, Fame/Flynet

Apparently our national treasures aren't allowed to have nice things.

Force the Duchess of Cambridge to hide her true identity.

Carl Court / Getty Images / Via buzzfeed.com

Why won't you let Kate be great?

Promote tourism in London with what appear to be horror film advertisements.

instagram.com

That font...that lighting...

Speaking of advertisements, have you heard how they pronounce "advertisement"?

You can call a shopping cart a "trolley" with impunity.

Clearly a ghoulish attempt to undermine Mr. Rogers.
PBS / Via muppetcentral.com

Clearly a ghoulish attempt to undermine Mr. Rogers.

And even allow this KNOWN MURDERER to enjoy citizenship.

We see you, Snape.
Danny E. Martindale / Getty Images

We see you, Snape.

Granting knighthood to Daniel Day Lewis before all five members of One Direction is still allowed.

Syco Entertainment / Via mashable.com

They work. so. hard.

So is featuring this talentless clown on television for decades.

63.3 million people can be wrong.
AddText.com / Via Facebook: MrBean

63.3 million people can be wrong.

Building super-human beauty robot couples to eventually reign o'er the planet remains a popular pastime for national security personnel.

Release the documents, M16!
Mike Coppola / Getty Images

Release the documents, M16!

So does tricking people into trusting law enforcement by giving it a charming name.

Now that is a Scotland yard.
Matt Cardy / Getty Images

Now that is a Scotland yard.

Out of shepherd's pie? Feed the population this crude oil and salt potion!

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Americans (mar)mite never understand this vile product, and that's fine.

Pronounce an "r" at the end of the names that end with an "a" if you feel like it.

Miramax / Via knowyourmeme.com

Rebeccer. Alaner. Anner. Christiner. Liser. NONE OF THESE ARE NAMES.

And deny the most majestic creature on Earth an official royal title, a grand estate, and all of the royal jewels.

Because justice and the law remain unwed on that isle.
Diane Freed / Getty Images

Because justice and the law remain unwed on that isle.

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