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Posted on Jan 19, 2015

22 Texts That Perfectly Capture Moms In All Their Bitchy Glory

Amateur hour is over.

1. Moms: Callin' 'em like they see 'em since the dawn of time.

2. No bitch will give it to you straighter than your mom.

3. For real, they do not beat around the bush.

4. Moms learn slang and put it to excellent use.

5. Primarily for the purpose of being bitchy to their kids.

6. Moms are expert saboteurs of your diet goals.

7. Moms won't hesitate to pit you against your idols in their efforts to control your mind.

8. Your friends are also fair game for her mind games.

9. Their knowledge of vulgarity is rich and extensive.

10. And those bitches like invented turning up.

11. Which makes them prone to prioritizing party jam questions over questions about your health.

12. Part of their bitchy confidence comes from owning two miracle-giving treasures called mom boobs.

13. For real, those bitches can't stop bragging about them.

14. Their amazing bitchy confidence is truly a wonder to behold.

15. Moms get super proud when their kids start expressing their bitch genes.

16. But will make it very clear that you'll never be the bigger, badder bitch of the family.

17. And they'll still share their boss bitch inspirations with you to train you to be a bad bitch one day.

18. Part of bad bitch training is embracing self-expression.

19. Even when their bitchiness is embarrassing...

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20. You know moms are coming from a good place.

21. And at the end of the day, that amazing bitch just wants to chill with you.

22. Which is great, because you know no one has your back like that bitch.

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