12 Reasons Rasputin Would Make The Perfect Winter Boyfriend
You can't spell "Put it in, you rascal!" without "Rasputin."
His laser stare could start a nice romantic fire in your cabin getaway in Vermont.
He's from Siberia, so he wouldn't complain about the cold.
He'd be a hit at the company holiday party by predicting who is going to die.
You could warm your hands in his luscious beard.
Russian is an under-appreciated and highly erotic language.
He could easily cure your winter sniffles.
He'd keep you cozy with tales of his early travels to warm locales in Mesopatamia.
You could accidentally kill him in a fit of cabin fever and not get in trouble because he's semi-immortal.
He could accurately predict the return of spring!
He loved booze.
Dude had a legendarily enormous package.
And if this doesn't look cozy and inviting to you, you're beyond help.
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