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Sufjan Stevens Announced A New Album And Everyone Cried

Carrie and Lowell definitely won't make his fans Suf-yawn.

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Asthmatic Kitty records announced that Sufjan Stevens will release his first solo album in nearly five years on its website earlier this week. Described as "a 44-minute meditation on mortality, memory, and faith," the announcement was accompanied by a short trailer in which Stevens returns to the signature preciousness of his folk roots. The citizens of the internet reacted primarily with tears:

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Sufjan Stevens is coming out with a new album on March 31st?!?!? Crying about Sufjan bc now I can cry to new Sufjan.

delaney@delaneykillFollow

Sufjan Stevens is coming out with a new album on March 31st?!?!? Crying about Sufjan bc now I can cry to new Sufjan.

10:37 PM - 12 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

New Sufjan album you say. No biggy. *runs around screaming and crying*. @asthmatickitty @clash_music

Gemma Hampson@Gemolo_GemmaFollow

New Sufjan album you say. No biggy. *runs around screaming and crying*. @asthmatickitty @clash_music

2:24 PM - 12 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

MY SOFT 40 YEAR OLD SON SUFJAN STEVENS IS PUTTING OUT A NEW ALBUM ALSO IM CRYING

Leah@1afontaineFollow

MY SOFT 40 YEAR OLD SON SUFJAN STEVENS IS PUTTING OUT A NEW ALBUM ALSO IM CRYING

10:49 AM - 12 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

Titled Carrie & Lowell, the album is a tribute to the human mortals who raised Stevens after he was unceremoniously abandoned by his biological parents, a sexually frustrated unicorn and the handsome angel Trinitron who was cast out of heaven for playing the banjo so beautifully that it rivaled the Song of the Heavenly Host.

The album is a return to Stevens' 50 States Project, only this time, we are hearing about the state of his mind. The press release states, "Sufjan recounts the indignities of our world, of technological distraction and sad sex, of an age without either myth or miracle—and this time around, his voice carries the burden of wisdom." This is either the most on-point self-parody in music history or Sufjan is feeling some feelings and whispering about them again.

Below is the album's new track list and our best predictions about what each song is about.

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1. "Death With Dignity"

instagram.com

A heartfelt tribute to Sara, the cat after whom Stevens' record label Asthmatic Kitty was named, who died during the holiday season in 2008. Described as "a walking calamity" by her human, Sara endured hardships in her early life with resilience, grace, and gratitude and became a celebrity in her own right as Asthmatic Kitty artists grew in popularity.

[Ed.: The cat pictured is not Sara but is fabulous.]

2. "Should Have Known Better"

Asthmatic Kitty/Joyful Noise / Via pastemagazine.com

An older, wiser Stevens reflects on his sartorial choices in the music video for "Booty Call," an underappreciated ode to the "u up?" text message in his collaboration with Serengeti and Son Lux, Sisyphus.

3. "All of Me Wants All of You"

Sufjan Stevens / Via sufjan.com

The indignity of unrequited love is at the center of this track about Bert and Ernie. Who loves who? You can find out on March 31 (in the U.S.) and March 30 (in Europe).

5. "Fourth of July"

Stevens wrote a much-publicized series of letters about grammar to Miley Cyrus in 2013 and returns to his explanatory impulses in the form of song, this time directed at Katy Perry's dubious claims in "Firework."

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6. "The Only Thing"

The apparent abandonment of the 50 States Project caused many fans a great deal of anguish. This melodic apologia gives nods to the 48 remaining states but is also Sufjan's firm statement that this is the only thing he'll ever say on the subject again.

7. "Carrie and Lowell"

Karl Walter / Getty Images

A heartbreaking retelling of the aforementioned entry to the world by way of unicorn birth canal and his subsequent adoption of Stevens by Carrie and Lowell, after whom the album is named.

8. "Eugene"

A repetition of the word "Eugene" over and over again, this could be about the city in Oregon, Eugene Levy, or the nerd from Grease. We actually don't know but check out that suh-weet Pink Floyd graffiti they got in Eugene, Oregon. We hope the song is about graffiti.

9. "John My Beloved"

This is about Sufjan's favorite gospel, very reminiscent of his most explicitly religious album, Seven Swans.

10. "No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross"

Asthmatic Kitty / Via fuckyeahsufjanstevens.tumblr.com

Come on a dark journey to Calgary with Stevens on this emotional roller coaster of a song. He has faith! He doesn't! He has faith! He doesn't! It is super hot in the Middle East! He has faith! He doesn't.

11. "Blue Bucket of Gold"

A nod to the blue logos of all the social media networks that matter, Stevens discovers that he can monetize his online presence and goes temporarily mad with power in this unsettling and disjointed collection of sound and silence that both indicts and celebrates the digital age.

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