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10 Reasons Why Being Lady-Like Actually Sucks

Growing up we were always taught to "act like a lady", but in reality, it sucks more than a home-shopping channel vacuum that can lift a bowling ball.

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1. Swearing is fucking awesome

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Got cut off in traffic? A nice stream of profanity will help quell the rage bubbling within you. But, oh no, no, a lady should never curse.

Yeah. Fuck that.

2. It’s just another way of enforcing strict gender roles

3. Your dance moves are fire and should never be contained

4. Sitting "like a lady" and "comfort" are mutually exclusive

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Sprawling all over the couch, however...

5. Fart jokes are hilarious. Always

Farts happen: accept it, embrace it, laugh your arse off about it.
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Farts happen: accept it, embrace it, laugh your arse off about it.

6. You should be able to have a drink or 8 with your mates

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A lady would never drunkenly stumble out of a pub at 2am, then devour 3 Macca's cheeseburgers. If she did she might actually have a good time...

7. It's physically impossible be graceful or poised whist working out

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It's the worst so why do we have to magically look amazing whilst doing it, too?

8. Hangovers are a thing

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And you need to be free to revel in your misery/grubbiness.

9. Your life revolves around food - and that's okay

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Burgers, pizza, hot chips, pasta, cookies - carbs are your friends and friendship is forever.

10. 'Cuz you just gotsta do you

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No one can tell you how to act, speak, dress, dance or eat - so fuck it! You're awesome and no one can rein in your epicness.

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