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10 Things Everyone Who Is Sick Of Summer Knows To Be True

It's the unofficial end of Summer. Let's talk about why this is awesome.

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My personal feelings as a member of the ginger persuasion, is that Summer can be one of the most miserable times of the year. Between the heat, the bugs and the clothing....Summer should gracefully bow out of the party now.

1. Summer means bugs.


So many bugs. So many bugs that you never knew even existed in your region suddenly show up in these three muggy months. Walking your dog suddenly becomes a desperate fight for your life as tiny flying beasts try to make their way into your mouth and ears while larger land beasts crawl into your sandals.

2. Summer suns are the worst kind of suns


That giant ball of fire in the sky can be a complete bummer. If you are not inclined to lay out and bake like a potato then it really just becomes an oppressive inconvenience. Towards the end of Summer, it's impossible to walk outside without making some kind of grunt or groan at the fact that the air requires you to use a machete to bushwhack your way through it.

3. Booty shorts and crop tops are not you style...and your are punished for that.


Summer isn't meant for people who practice the fine art of layering. I love slouchy tops and over sized sweaters. Summer does not like those things. Consequently, I am constantly uncomfortable and never know how to adequately dress for the world outside of my air conditioning.

4. Dinnertime is like a scene from the Hunger Games.


No one wants to turn on the oven or the stove when the world is a hot and sticky wasteland, so dinner really suffers. Salads are great....but they are definitely not something I can fill ma belly with and call it a day. Every meal feels a little too heavy in the Summer. I consider myself to be pretty creative but it becomes exhausting to come up with concoctions that satisfy while also jiving with the heat.

5. Sunburns


I rarely expose my pale skin to the sun without sunscreen. Once in a while I will forget because I am a human and the result is always me resembling Freddy Krueger, which is always really delightful. The best part is walking around like that for days/weeks while everyone greets me with really intelligent observations like, "got some sun, huh?" or "I bet that hurts" and "you look like a lobster!"

6. Teenagers run amok.


If you are slightly elderly like I am at 28 years old, then you have started to have a shorter fuse when it comes to nonsense. This nonsense includes teenagers and their late night shenanigans. No school means that these young adults have extended curfews and lots of free time. That's all well and fine but when you are outside screaming about wanting Taco Bell at 2:00 AM on a Tuesday, I am going to light you on fire. GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

7. Sweating


Boob sweat is a thing. Swass is also a thing. These are not good things. These are awful, embarrassing and uncomfortable things. When you sweat while standing perfectly still, things have stopped being okay.

8. Getting in you car.


Your car has turned into satan's bum hole and you are not one of those lucky people who have an automatic car starter. This means you open the door and sit down in thick, hot, heavy air that legitimately hurts your soul. Your first reaction is to crank that AC, only that just means that a blast of hell fire comes blaring out straight at your face and renders you temporarily breathless. Oh and if you happen to be wearing shorts and have leather seats because your fancy? You have now burned the flesh off of your thighs.

9. Television shows suck


Most of your favorite television shows go on hiatus until the Fall and that means that you are stuck watching reruns and bad reality shows at night to fill the void. I hate burning precious neurons on whatever "Naked and..." show is running at any given time so I turn to a good book or the greatest invention since fire. Netflix is your friend in these sad times, my friends. Crack open that book you have been ignoring or binge watch something awesome until the first leaves start to fall.

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