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The 20 Most Important Kids Of 2009

Second only to cats in their cultural significance, small children with big dreams and exploitative parents took the 2009 internet by storm. Let's take a moment to reminisce before they grow up to be ugly and/or felons.

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  • 1. David After Dentist

    David inspired us all to examine the limits of reality and to get root canals more frequently.

  • 2. the Evian Roller Babies

    Did you know that Evian is "Creepily Coordinated CGI Babies?" spelled backwards?

  • 3. the Dancing Ginger Kid

    The original Dance Moves That Rock kid taught us to never let red hair stand in the way of your dreams.

  • 4. P.S. 22

    P.S. 22 > Lady Gaga. That is a true mathematical statement.

  • 5. mini Jason Mraz

    Some of us learned to like Jason Mraz for the first time, and some of us learned who Jason Mraz was for the first time. Lesson: funny faces bring people together.

  • 6. the Marshmallow Test Kids

    Child Cruelty Can Be Cute! Part 1 In A Continuing Series

  • 7. the Single Ladies Baby

    Rhythm knows no age.

  • 8. Kylie

    Kylie taught us that you should always buy operating systems based on cuteness.

  • 9. mini Hip Hop Kid

    Little Ginger Kid brings the gusto, but Hip Hop Toddler has style, friends. Look at that body control.

  • 10. the Lobster Kid


  • 11. Rejected Japanese Boy

    Meet the poster boy for the unrequited, Post Secreting, "song lyric in my status to show you I still love you" section of the internet. (That's like, what, 60% of the internet?)

  • 12. the Drunk 4-Year-Old :(

    Hayden showed us the dark side of the Weird News Column (but we were still kind of proud of him for getting drunk.)

  • 13. mini Taylor Swift

    Never underestimate the power of a costume change.

  • 14. Tan Hong Ming

    Winner, Best Smile Of 2009 Award

  • 15. Maya, the Fish Eulogizer

    Maya taught us to grieve with dignity. And to ignore our mothers, who can sometimes be totally insensitive c-words.

  • 16. 2-Year-Old Moved By The Power of Michael

    And so mourned a nation.

  • 17. the Couch Kid

    A late inductee into the Awesome Kids Of 2009 club, Couch Kid is a role model for all children trapped in or behind large objects. (Also to the "Ignore Your Insensitive C-Word Mother" contingent. Themes!)

  • 18. the Netiquette Kids

    It's important to behave on the internet, and it's also important to sing ridiculous yet cute songs for the joy of your elders. These kids have it down.

  • 19. Birthday Cake kid

    Birthday Cake Kid became the poster child for the 2009 iteration of our Ownership Society.

  • 20. the Hot Sauce Kid

    Two Most Important Internet Lessons: 1. Trust no one. 2. Add a good soundtrack.