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    Posted on Sep 22, 2009

    Save Jessica Simpson!

    Frankly, I've never been Jessica Simpson's #1 fan, but I'm pretty worried about her. She has that creepy dad, Tony Romo (ew) dumped her, a coyote ate her dog, and now friends say she's on the edge. So I'd like to start kind of an internet vigil for Jessica, to give her some support, remember the good times, etc. (ONLY POSITIVITY will be allowed on this page.) You can turn this around, Jessica! We believe in you.

    • The infamous 'Boots Are Made For Walkin' Video

      Way to go. Seriously.

    • Remember your GQ cover?

      That's a big deal! You looked great!

    • And remember this VMAs?

      Orange fake tan aside, the Bianca Jagger look works for you.

    • You were also on the cover of Vanity Fair!

      Albeit about your weight. (Also, I made a little fun of you, sorry.)

    • You got to John Mayer before Jennifer Aniston did.

      Even if he looked like that at the time.

    • You never looked like this.

      2005 was rough for Ashlee.

    • You never got accidentally pregnant.

      (She does have a glow, though.)

    • You never shotgun married this.


    • And you are capable of looking like this, just walking around, being you.

      Positivity! We believe in you!!!!!

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