We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the weirdest sexual question their parents have ever asked. Here are the insanely hilarious results.
1. The either/or question
When I came out as trans, my mom's first reaction was to ask whether I preferred being eaten out or rimmed?
2. The "I'm just trying to help" question
In 11th grade my mom asked, "Nicole, do you know what a blowjob is?" She took my shocked look as a no and then proceeded to explain what it was, in full detail.
3. The inappropriate dinner conversation question
At a large family dinner my aunt asked what the hand gesture with two fingers and the pinky up meant. I was 24 and the oldest cousin there, so everyone looked to me to explain. I ultimately looked up the definition on my phone and passed it around to all the adults. Their faces went from smiling to utter shock to disgust.
4. The Gaga-inspired question
I was waiting for my tennis game to start in high school when Lady Gaga's song "Love Game" was really popular. While chatting with my mom to pass the time, she innocently asked, "What's a disco stick?" I cleared my throat. "I don't, mom. I've gotta go play tennis now. Bye!"
5. The "dads never have a clue" question
I'm a lesbian and my dad asked me how I have sex. He was being 100% serious.
6. The overprotective nurse-mom question
My mother is a nurse and has always been extremely clinical, so she asked, "Does he make sure that you're properly lubricated before coitus?"
7. The butt-conscious question
My mom asked me if straight couples actually have butt sex. She couldn't imagine "why a woman would let a man stick his penis in her butthole," and she asked, "don't they know what that will do to their sphincter?!"
8. The question that got a little too steep
When I was 16 my mom overheard my boyfriend and his friend making a joke about "tea bagging." She was curious as to what it was, since it seemed so funny to them. I had to explain it to her on the car ride home. Most. Awkward. Thing. Ever.
9. The peace out question
My mom saw some kids do the eat out sign (when you make a peace sign and put your tongue in between your two fingers). Me, not being the best daughter, said it means "hello." Then she started doing it in public.
10. The question that turned real shitty
My husband and I had a group of friends who had a running joke to always try to bring up "blumpkins" in conversation. This accidentally happened in front of my mom, so of course she wanted to know what it meant. The more we refused, the more she insisted on knowing. I finally (literally) drew the short straw and had to try to explain to my poor mother what a blumpkin is. Never. Again.
11. The question that turned even shittier
"Has he taken the dirt road yet? Let me know when it does and I'll give you some tips!" Most awkward dinner conversation ever.
12. The question we're all constantly thinking, but are too afraid to ask
"What happened to pubic hair?" –my mom
13. The Dr. Seuss rhyme question
My mom asked me once what "two in the pink, one in the stink" means. I refused to answer. She then Googled it and hit me for having "such knowledge."
14. The confirmation question
Mom: Is it true?
Me: Is what true?
Mom: That once you go black, you never go back...?
15. And the multitasker question
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up, but we were still casually seeing each other. When my mom noticed that I started seeing someone else (in addition to my ex), she very bluntly asked: "SO ARE YOU FUCKING BOTH OF THEM?!"