We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the most ridiculous things they believed about pregnancy as a kid. Here are the hilarious replies.
1. The womb is ~fully~ furnished.
"My older sister told me that she made me a bedroom in mom's tummy when she was in there and that I had a cot. I was so grateful to her for a long time!"
2. Babies are born with their mom's tattoos.
"I thought the child would have the same tattoos as the mother when being born."
3. Babies are born through the belly button.
"I used to think when you were born you came out of your mom’s belly button."
4. Babies can be purchased along with groceries.
"My sister told me that to have a baby, a mom and dad would go to the store, pick out the type of baby they wanted, and choose the gender, hair color, and eye color."
5. Babies are kinda like vomited out.
"I thought babies came out of women’s mouths because they always screamed so much on TV and opened their mouths really wide. I also thought a womb was like a balloon that slowly blew up over nine months and then popped a few hours after giving birth."
6. Or they're pooped out.
"I fully believed women pooped out babies until I was maybe 12, when my then-pregnant aunt told me babies were actually born vaginally. I believe my response was, 'How?? That hole is so small!'"
7. Sex causes pregnancy every time.
"I thought that you got pregnant every time you had sex, so you would only do it when you wanted a baby. Thus, I never understood why people would say they're 'trying for a baby.'"
8. The power of wedding rings causes pregnancy.
"I believed that pregnancy occurred sometime after the wedding ring was put on a woman's finger. I thought that wedding rings had some sort of magic power that made a woman pregnant."
9. Parents schedule the due date themselves.
"I thought people would just choose what date they wanted to have a baby and then I figured out why I was born exactly 40 weeks after my mom’s birthday."
10. Babies and cake are made the same way.
"My parents told me that the mom had half of the ingredients and the dad had the other half and they mixed it together, then the mom baked it into a baby. I thought children were made like cake."
11. There are special pills that cause pregnancy.
"I thought that in order to get pregnant you went to the doctor and took a pill or seed. You took a blue one if you wanted a boy and pink one if you wanted a girl. Then the pill or seed would grow into babies."
12. More kissing means more babies.
"I thought that the number of times a couple kissed during the act of trying for a baby would determine the number of babies growing in the womb.
As an only child, I figured my parents only kissed once when they conceived me. I wished they had kissed twice so I could have had a twin."
13. The fetus is just casually chilling outside of the womb.
"When I was younger, I used to think that when a woman was pregnant, the baby was not inside of her, but that the baby was up her shirt. I was always really confused about how women changed their shirts, but it didn’t occur to me that the baby was inside of her stomach until my mom told me how it really worked."
14. Babies are sneezed out.
"When I was a kid, my mom told me that you sneezed babies out, so every time someone sneezed, I was very disappointed."
15. The pregnancy belly *deflates* right after giving birth.
"When I was younger, I believed that after the baby was born, your stomach would just deflate like a balloon and go back to how it looked before the baby. I apparently offended my aunt when I asked her why her stomach wasn't 'back to normal yet' after having my cousins."
16. Babies are fed through the belly button.
"I used to think that you had to put food into your belly button to feed the baby. I'm not sure where the idea came from, nobody told me this. I was a weird child."
17. When babies kick, it's because they are trying to escape the womb.
"I believed that the baby was trying to kick its way out of the womb when I would feel it. I used to be so scared that my mom was being killed from the inside out. I also thought that when you were in the bath, if you gave birth, the baby would be born a mermaid."
18. Babies come from Babies 'R' Us, duh.
"Toys 'R' Us is for buying new toys, so I thought obviously Babies 'R' Us was for buying new babies. I never noticed my mother getting bigger when she was pregnant with my little brother, and one day she came home with a baby after telling us she was going to the store. My little kid brain just made the only connection it could."
19. Umbilical cords are snorkels.
"I thought that babies couldn't breathe in the womb, so the umbilical cord was like some sort of snorkel attached to the mom's belly button. My mom was mortified when I asked the doctor if I could borrow my newborn brother's 'belly snorkel.' I was 6."
20. Women give birth whenever👏 they👏 feel👏 like👏 it👏.
"I thought that you could just decide not to deliver the baby and let it just hang out and continue growing."
21. Baby bumps aren't real but, rather, are fashion statements.
"I didn't believe that pregnancy was the baby growing. I thought women with pregnancy bellies just had balls under their shirts for fashion, and that all babies were ordered from the hospital and delivered months later."
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.