1.
I used to have a racing snail. I took it's shell off to see if it would make it go faster, if anything it made it more sluggish. #NationalTellAJokeDay
2.
Damn, itโs raining cats and dogs. Just went outside and stepped in a poodle. #NationalTellAJokeDay
3.
A wife is sitting at her husbandโs funeral. A man leans in and asks, โDo you mind if I say a word?โ โNo, go right aheadโ, the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says โPlethoraโ, and sits back down. โThanksโ, the woman says, โthat means a lotโ #NationalTellAJokeDay
4.
#NationalTellAJokeDay A bear walks into a bar and says, โGive me a whiskey and...โฆcokeโ โWhy the big pause?โ asks the bartender. The bear shrugged โIโm not sure, I was born with them.โ
5.
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis , and Arnold Schwarzenegger are making a movie about classical composers. Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be Mozart " Bruce Willis , "So.. I'll be Beethoven." Schwarzenegger announced , "in that case.. I'll be Bach ."๐ถ#NationalTellajokeday
6.
#NationalTellAJokeDay ๐ฝ Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Iโm a big metal fan." ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
7.
When someone says they are cold, tell them to stand in a corner. Itโs 90 degrees. #NationalTellAJokeDay
8.
#NationalTellAJokeDay BREAKING : A man was admitted to hospital this morning with several plastic horses in his stomach. A hospital spokesperson has reported that he is now in a stable condition.. ๐ ๐ด ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
9.
Mountains aren't just funny. They are just hill areas. #NationalTellAJokeDay
10.
#NationalTellAJokeDay what do you get when you wake up on a work day and realise youโve run out of coffee?? - A depresso ๐๐
11.
Just been for a job interview.. Interviewer asked me if I could perform under pressure... I said... yes of course I can.. and I also do an excellent version of Bohemian Rhapsody too... #nationaltellajokeday #tellajokeday
12.
Q: What do unicorns call their dads? A: Pop corn. Did you groan, guffaw, or laugh out loud? #NationalTellAJokeDay
13.
Itโs #NationalTellAJokeDay ๐ Laughter is the best medicine. Q: Whatโs it called when you steal someoneโs coffee? A: Mugging!
14.
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything! #NationalTellAJokeDay
15.
#NationalTellAJokeDay How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends if the lightbulb wants to change
16.
Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle #NationalTellAJokeDay
17.
I got feedback for the telescope i sold on Ebay. Terrible. 2 stars. #NationalTellAJokeDay
18.
#NationalTellAJokeDay My dad always told me to fight fire with fire. Probably why I lost my job as a fireman.
19.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Knock knock Whoโs there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Never mind itโs pointless.
20.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Why canโt you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally
21.
What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad. #NationalTellAJokeDay
22.
Why did the Scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field... But hay, it's in his jeans! #NationalTellAJokeDay
23.
What do you call a group rebellious cats? #NationalTellAJokeDay A cat-astrophe
24.
Batman and Robin walk into a bar, because they canโt fly. #NationalTellAJokeDay
25.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Why dont you use the bathroom infront of a Pokemon? Because they'll Pikachu