1.
I used to have a racing snail. I took it's shell off to see if it would make it go faster, if anything it made it more sluggish. #NationalTellAJokeDay
2.
Damn, itβs raining cats and dogs. Just went outside and stepped in a poodle. #NationalTellAJokeDay
3.
A wife is sitting at her husbandβs funeral. A man leans in and asks, βDo you mind if I say a word?β βNo, go right aheadβ, the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says βPlethoraβ, and sits back down. βThanksβ, the woman says, βthat means a lotβ #NationalTellAJokeDay
4.
#NationalTellAJokeDay A bear walks into a bar and says, βGive me a whiskey and...β¦cokeβ βWhy the big pause?β asks the bartender. The bear shrugged βIβm not sure, I was born with them.β
5.
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis , and Arnold Schwarzenegger are making a movie about classical composers. Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be Mozart " Bruce Willis , "So.. I'll be Beethoven." Schwarzenegger announced , "in that case.. I'll be Bach ."πΆ#NationalTellajokeday
6.
#NationalTellAJokeDay π½ Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Iβm a big metal fan." π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
7.
When someone says they are cold, tell them to stand in a corner. Itβs 90 degrees. #NationalTellAJokeDay
8.
#NationalTellAJokeDay BREAKING : A man was admitted to hospital this morning with several plastic horses in his stomach. A hospital spokesperson has reported that he is now in a stable condition.. π π΄ π€£π€£π€£π€£
9.
Mountains aren't just funny. They are just hill areas. #NationalTellAJokeDay
10.
#NationalTellAJokeDay what do you get when you wake up on a work day and realise youβve run out of coffee?? - A depresso ππ
11.
Just been for a job interview.. Interviewer asked me if I could perform under pressure... I said... yes of course I can.. and I also do an excellent version of Bohemian Rhapsody too... #nationaltellajokeday #tellajokeday
12.
Q: What do unicorns call their dads? A: Pop corn. Did you groan, guffaw, or laugh out loud? #NationalTellAJokeDay
13.
Itβs #NationalTellAJokeDay π Laughter is the best medicine. Q: Whatβs it called when you steal someoneβs coffee? A: Mugging!
14.
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything! #NationalTellAJokeDay
15.
#NationalTellAJokeDay How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends if the lightbulb wants to change
16.
Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle #NationalTellAJokeDay
17.
I got feedback for the telescope i sold on Ebay. Terrible. 2 stars. #NationalTellAJokeDay
18.
#NationalTellAJokeDay My dad always told me to fight fire with fire. Probably why I lost my job as a fireman.
19.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Knock knock Whoβs there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Never mind itβs pointless.
20.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Why canβt you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally
21.
What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad. #NationalTellAJokeDay
22.
Why did the Scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field... But hay, it's in his jeans! #NationalTellAJokeDay
23.
What do you call a group rebellious cats? #NationalTellAJokeDay A cat-astrophe
24.
Batman and Robin walk into a bar, because they canβt fly. #NationalTellAJokeDay
25.
#NationalTellAJokeDay Why dont you use the bathroom infront of a Pokemon? Because they'll Pikachu
