1.
I’m passing on that $6.99 for Disney+.. Instead, I’ll buy a Popeyes sandwich, reverse engineer the recipe, start my own business then invite Jay Z to lunch. While you’re watching The Proud Family, I’ll be making my Family Proud 💯
2.
i put @NICKIMINAJ in the harriet tubman movie
3.
oat milk to the other non dairies
4.
All the white Girls I went to highschool with make this face in their pics when they’re trying to be funny. https://t.co/fccnNUT0SF
5.
....ok so do your job nutty professor https://t.co/abQpMfTGpC
6.
So I tried finessing this guy into sharing his Disney+ account with me and this is what he sends me 😭
7.
Had my food cooking in a crockpot under my desk https://t.co/uE37DlGJxW
8.
Hearing myself say “AYEEEE” on my story the next day is honestly bottom of the barrel. I hate it here
9.
It was to protect the floor https://t.co/gL272ZxRky
10.
Dammnnn.. I hope whoever account I’m on can pay that shit https://t.co/c1htIKZJfL
11.
this is how i choose guys..
12.
No one: Racists: #NotMyAriel Disney, black twitter and logical people:
13.
When a song ain’t available on Apple Music & Spotify so I have to go listen to it on SoundCloud & YouTube
14.
what do you call an acid with attitude??? A-mean-o-Acid
15.
I’ma tell my children this was Maya Angelou
16.
popeyes sandwich returning tomorrow after months of absence like a deadbeat dad and here we are waiting by the front door smh
17.
im sorry y'all.... i had to make this
18.
no man has all five: 1. good dick 2. communication skills 3. 0 hoes 4. A height over 5’9 5. Ability to display emotion
19.
Job Interviewer: Describe a situation when you went above and beyond for a customer? Me:
20.
Gonna tell my grandchildren this the national anthem
21.
Oh shit, she was right. My doctor just told me I’m 12 weeks. https://t.co/VK7wnDZnQP
22.
Me after I touch my man ass: https://t.co/37Hdn5KBaH
23.
this is what Drake thinks he looks like
24.
This is the intro to Beyoncé’s “ring the alarm” https://t.co/J6dD4AgkCx
25.
All this lil boy caught his mama nem having sex and this what he said it sound like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
26.
When you realize mid conversation that it will be the first and last time you will be hanging out with somebody
27.
when your coworker expect you to share your dirt after they’ve shared theirs
28.
*Me logging into my Gmail on a computer instead of my phone* Google online security system:
29.
Me showing up 2 hours after I said I was 5 mins away
30.
When you thought your nose was finally unblocking but it just switched nostrils
31.
Travis and Stormi spying on Tyga and Kylie.
32.
How They expect you to React When You get an Amber Alert 😂😭😭
33.
Me: *uploads resume* Application: please fill out your job history Me:
34.
me forcing myself to be a city girl when i really wanted to be boo’d up this summer
35.
day drinking , day party’s & day everything all summer cause I’m tryna b in bed by 10😂
36.
me talking about youtubemp3converter
37.
my lil sisters tik toks are tew much
38.
they said “ fuck them kids “ 😭😭😭
39.
Y’all.... this is how my little brother wanted to come out in the family group chat 😂🤦🏾♂️
40.
Idk who needs to hear this but... Sis, your soulmate is not that lady’s husband. Lmao.
41.
Still can’t believe that the kid from the Reese’s Puffs commercials grew up to be Travis Scott
42.
Fuck (and I cannot stress this enough) them kids. https://t.co/VI23s3cf8r
43.
What my food see from outside the microwave. 😂
44.
Unpin that one viral tweet you got in 2014 beloved. Let it go.
45.
Me getting ready for the outing i said yes to
46.
I pulled up at Popeyes on some good vibes and they was not fucking with it lmaooo
47.
telling my kids this was lil nas x