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    Just 39 Of The Funniest Things I Read On The Internet This Month So Far

    "I was burning sage and my mama talkin' bout, 'I can’t breathe.' I bet you can’t demon."

    We're already more than halfway through October, but there have already been a ton of epic jokes from Twitter this month! There's no way you'll read all of these without bursting out into laughter, so enjoy!

    And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!

    1.

    Twitter: @insultsrare

    2.

    so.. wtf was the musical they was doing in high school musical even about?

    Twitter: @selahspades

    3.

    cucumbers when they realize there’s a charli xcx poster on the wall and a towel on the bed

    Lionsgate / Twitter: @cursedkief

    4.

    idc if vans aren’t good hiking shoes i’m not gonna look lame in front of the squirrels

    Twitter: @FilledwithUrine

    5.

    columbia is a crazy place because I just watched a freshman say "can I finish?" to our professor who has quite literally won a pulitzer

    Twitter: @iudprincess

    6.

    ngl this new recession is a lil scarier than the one in ‘08 cause i was in high school so that was my parents problem…but now that im on my own

    Twitter: @PartitionBeat

    7.

    the way i genuinely wouldn’t have enjoyed the song if she hadn’t done this

    Sony Pictures Releasing  / Twitter: @TEXASTITTIE

    8.

    Twitter: @bklynb4by

    9.

    scrambled eggs for breakfast 😋

    Twitter: @yaitskayy

    10.

    denormalize the grind and start normalizing whatever this is

    Disney / Twitter: @fatimasvogue

    11.

    I didn’t realize how many guys I slept with until I had to name my son.

    Twitter: @MDeathCasey

    12.

    Gays have no perception of distance they’re like hehe you should come see me in Australia

    Twitter: @LeeDawsonPT

    13.

    Just lost custody of my kids what’s the move for tonight

    Twitter: @fbgcon

    14.

    Go get the new adult happy meal ladies, thank me later 💅🏼

    Twitter: @cr0issantitties

    15.

    My elbow watching me do a full skin care routine on my face.

    20th Century Fox /  Twitter: @Maxthepapi

    16.

    Disney  / Twitter: @dirtyydian

    17.

    The Try Guys editor having to edit that one guy out of all their shit:

    Twitter: @1stOr3rdPlace

    18.

    Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

    Twitter: @cyndollx

    19.

    you’ll watch Hocus Pocus WHAT? https://t.co/34rXDlXNSL

    RCA / Twitter: @fake_jaris

    20.

    Beyoncé & Rihanna are touring next year, it’s time to get serious

    Twitter: @dylanbehavior

    21.

    women be like “my head hurts” and ain’t ate shit all day except starbucks

    Twitter: @ilyicey

    22.

    Call me a hater but I wanted Candace to at least get Phineas and Ferb caught in that backyard at least one time

    Twitter: @wyacheema

    23.

    Twitter: @alxmalloy

    24.

    Twitter: @Iluvnectarines

    25.

    burning sage & my mama talm bout, "I can’t breathe😭". I bet you can’t demon

    Twitter: @realmainfeeling

    26.

    the Starbucks drive thru worker said “welcome back”

    Lifetime / Twitter: @JAYACTII

    27.

    the slay is coming from inside the boots

    Twitter: @victorgayguy

    28.

    Warner Bros / Twitter: @ecto_fun

    29.

    Sorry we're late my wife and I Could Not stop fucking

    Twitter: @doefaced

    30.

    Twitter: @Sloomlight

    31.

    Jasmine was in her bag when she made that rice

    Twitter: @youdamnskippy

    32.

    u can really tell she had been holding that one in for a WHILE

    Twitter: @cybramir

    33.

    you ever be in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives

    Twitter: @10inchbrian

    34.

    I hate when teachers put "?" on graded work, cause idk what's going on either

    Twitter: @Noorthevirgo

    35.

    this cannot be the same brain that earned a bachelor’s degree

    Twitter: @milkygoddess

    36.

    Twitter: @iUsedToBeADuck

    37.

    i really don’t give a fuck anymore

    Twitter: @bIiccy

    38.

    Twitter: @weirdmsg

    39.

    “can you explain this gap in your resume?” yes that is when i was happiest

    Twitter: @jakewhomst