34 Twitter Jokes From This October So Far That Gave Me The Laugh I Needed

    "Today a student asked me for an extension because, and I quote, 'Ya girl is going through it.'"

    We're already more than halfway through October, but there have already been a ton of hilarious, grade-A jokes from Twitter this month! There's no way you'll read all of these without bursting out into laughter, so enjoy!

    And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!

    1.

    Found out two of my exes are related, i knew that head felt FAMILIA

    Twitter: @itsrennyduh

    2.

    Clients: how long have you been a Makeup Artist? Me:

    Twitter: @BRlANNARANEE

    3.

    Kourtney Kardashian, Travis Barker, MGK and Megan Fox all sleep like this.

    Paramount Pictures / Twitter: @HyaPatrick

    4.

    i wonder if actors ever be in the middle of filming and just think “oh yeah this shit finna flop”

    Twitter: @Sadcrib

    5.

    Twitter: @bluepantheress

    6.

    when he hasn't left his bed for 20 years then can conveniently jump up and dance around after finding out his grandson has a won a once in a life time opportunity and can bring a plus one 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

    Twitter: @jessasstrophe

    7.

    Twitter: @FallofLoverboy

    8.

    I just ft’d my friend and she said “I’m doing something goodbye.” and hung up. Her LED lights were red. con😭gra😭tu😭la😭tions😭 !!!!

    Twitter: @princessjahadd

    9.

    Twitter: @bossandretti

    10.

    Everyone talks about how social media is bad for your mental health but what about Excel?

    Twitter: @weekend3warrior

    11.

    Twitter: @platini954

    12.

    “Omg Friends is the funniest show” Me watching Friends:

    Twitter: @tweetsbybob_

    13.

    I remember when bbl stood for be back later

    Twitter: @Robthegod_

    14.

    The Embarrassment I felt at the doctors today…

    Twitter: @peep4nts

    15.

    get that tattoo, ur family is already disappointed in you

    Twitter: @yourDreamgul

    16.

    "You know who else briefly went offline?" -Youth pastor

    Twitter: @RobDownenChron

    17.

    Twitter: @quenblackwell

    18.

    gay people always have two accounts and one is like “i am horny” and the other is like “i am so sad” and one of them will be private…but which one it is will depend on the person

    Twitter: @anxiousdeluxe

    19.

    Twitter: @tedtalks719

    20.

    i be feeling so bad for the ride or die bitches, cause y’all just be dying

    Twitter: @valentinavoight

    21.

    Twitter: @musicstruggles1

    22.

    I stop sucking a dick after 3 min & I’m like “u get the idea”

    Twitter: @brian_bahe

    23.

    Twitter: @futuravocat

    24.

    my friend is getting married on my birthday. can’t decide what color to wear to the wedding- eggshell or cream?

    Twitter: @corietjohnson

    25.

    Doxxing in 1500 bc: he lives over there 👉

    Twitter: @imadfunny

    26.

    Are…are we sure it’s 25 when a man’s frontal lobe is fully developed? Are we positive??? Are we really 100 percent positive??

    Twitter: @atkerijean

    27.

    Twitter: @Ariellex1_

    28.

    hey baddies please be careful the curbs out here keep hitting cars

    Twitter: @chiquitaa_____

    29.

    Today a student asked me for an extension because, and I quote, "ya girl is going through it."

    Twitter: @ProfChrisMJones

    30.

    I PASSED THE BAR!!!! So proud of myself, I really wanted to get a shot of tequila but I just passed it and kept on walking.

    Twitter: @catcmckinney

    31.

    I think she meant retrograde 🧍🏼‍♂️

    Twitter: @SaeedDiCaprio

    32.

    Me: "i need to stop putting stuff on my credit card" my credit card:

    Twitter: @jiggyjayy2

    33.

    My brain cannot learn what Grimes’ face looks like

    Twitter: @MaryKoCo

    34.

    Dimension Films / Paramount Pictures / Twitter: @tonypraysick