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    Literally Just 28 Tweets From This Month So Far That I Could Not Stop Cackling At

    "Don’t expect a 'bless you' after the third sneeze. Let's get it together."

    Somehow we're already halfway through November and almost done with 2022. 😳 With time moving so quickly, you might've missed some of these hysterical gems from Twitter over the past couple of weeks. Take a look:

    And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!

    1.

    when someone has a long instagram story i like to skip thru them really fast to understand how their life would look if it flashed before their eyes

    Twitter: @hotpriestt

    2.

    Me, whispering to Starbucks employee: Someone took a large…sorry…a venti poop on the floor.

    Twitter: @benedictsred

    3.

    saying go piss girl when someone needs to pee is just as respectful and important as saying bless u when someone sneezes and i stand by that.

    Twitter: @xejbxyd

    4.

    i love calling my parents on a sunday morning because when i call my mom it is like mom…i ate a yogurt parfait and toast with butter and she says erica that is so great but when i call my dad it is always like: “erica …it is time for you to start a business.”

    Twitter: @sourhoestarter

    5.

    Twitter: @contactabrother

    6.

    Lady behind me at The Thing screening last night to her partner "why are they shooting at the dog?" and her partner says very firmly "have you never seen a film before? You watch it and information is revealed"

    Twitter: @CursedGloryHole

    7.

    Jennifer Coolidge as Hilary Duff in The Lizzie McGuire movie

    HBO / Twitter: @heyjaeee

    8.

    me rolling up before thanksgiving dinner😂

    Twitter: @invis4yo

    9.

    When you high as fcuk & remember that you saved food for this exact moment

    Twitter: @badbbyaera

    10.

    Forgot to ask for oat milk in my coffee

    Twitter: @yugihole

    11.

    me at the gym asking if anyone is using the 5 lb dumbbell

    Nickelodeon / Twitter: @ivyluvx

    12.

    Twitter: @mazzypopstar

    13.

    the new twitter blue verification checks

    HBO / Twitter: @AngeldelaMito

    14.

    me freaking out and hiding when the maintenance guys knock on my apartment door even though I was the one who asked them to come fix something

    HBO / Twitter: @clur19

    15.

    Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 3rd sneeze, lets get it together.

    Twitter: @elibxoo

    16.

    I just know the calcium from all that activia yogurt transformed her skull into titanium steel

    Universal Pictures / Twitter: @HarryPhillips15

    17.

    me leaving for work at 8:15, hoping to get there by 8:00

    Boomerang / Twitter: @ivyluvx

    18.

    Me: Im so good at flirting. Me on a date:

    Twitter: @Jani__Gee

    19.

    If you have a wrist band you can leave and come back. https://t.co/6xoWBhYVXC

    Twitter: @SerGonzales10

    20.

    born to “idk ❤️” forced to “I’ll investigate and circle back”

    Twitter: @neruda_bro

    21.

    me whenever my friends start vaping in front of me

    HBO / Twitter: @suricidal

    22.

    I love a “c*m for me” ass partner. Like imma do that anyway but you want me to dedicate this next one to you? I feel like Usher. This is for you! You! My number one 😌

    Twitter: @GoddessGlock

    23.

    It’s November, y’all know what that means

    Twitter: @StupidSlavSlut

    24.

    Me randomly deciding to leave the club without telling anyone

    Disney Channel / Twitter: @sharon_weave

    25.

    The NYU student who took over my lease has owed me $100 for weeks, and when I asked him to pay me, he said he felt bullied and then sent me a Psychology Today article about gaslighting.

    Twitter: @GayLaVie

    26.

    You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women

    Twitter: @teresaeliz

    27.

    him: “you must be goofy if you think we are fucking 😑” meee:

    Twitter: @bxsel

    28.

    I would never “plan for the future”. A Bible level miracle is going to happen to me

    Twitter: @s4m31p4n