Somehow, we're already halfway through July! Even though we have some time until the end of the month, there have already been plenty of gems on Twitter. Here are some of the best tweets from this month so far:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
“hey i’m in ur city” ok well leave
2.
Chick-fil-A needs an atheist crew to work Sunday’s
3.
Woke up to some bullshit. My granny pregnant wtf
4.
i’m not blocking no more co workers yes i’m at my gma funeral & yes i’m in Miami
5.
reverse gatekeeping where i force everyone around me to get into a thing i like
6.
what if i said “if you think cheetah print is sexy, you’re fetishizing bestiality” and logged off for three days
7.
security questions MUST stop asking me what my favorites are. i'm not the person I once was and i'll never be her again.......
8.
if gossip girl tagged me in a post, i would simply block her
9.
Legalize all drugs in the Olympics. Let’s see how fast mfs can REALLY go.
10.
[me getting in the back of an ambulance] hi, for isabel?
11.
Doesn’t make any fucking sense that Cinderella had a different shoe size from every other bitch in that town.
12.
omg?
14.
i love when witches make that big soup
15.
Flirting with 30+ is just weird. How can I send you scandalous images and you respond with “Looks great. Looking forward to it” Am I a job? Am I a project? Am I choir rehearsals?
16.
my toxic trait is that I say ‘no worries’ even when yes worries
17.
in other news: 7 y/o recently asked me if non-transgender men are called "bro-gender" since I referred to myself as "sis-gender" and it took me a good 10 minutes to understand what they meant and realize it was hilarious
19.
me at a threesome: are you guys mad at me
20.
gotta respect the longevity of microsoft word. nothing about it works and it's still the standard. want to move an image? go to hell. edit a pdf? edit your expectations. ignore a spelling mistake? how about suck my dick. that'll be 150$
21.
bear robbing a bank: stick em up teller: *raises hands* bear: *nervous* how’d you get so big
23.
queerbaiting myself by existing as a queer person but not really dating or having fun
24.
When a guy is wearing glasses it’s like. Aww is he gonna read a book :)
25.
I seen a post that said “i be in my head fighting for my fucking life” tell me about it yo 😭😭😭😭
