15 Types Of People You Meet At The Pool

They can’t all be Ryan Lochtes.

1. The Michael Phelps Wannabe

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So you have impeccable form and a torso chiseled by the gods, I can hold my breathe underwater for a minute! (I bet.)

2. The Person Who Can’t Stay In Their Lane

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See those dividers on either side of you bro? Keep yo’ shit in check!

3. Tan Mom

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She doesn’t actually get in the pool, just lays beside it, soaking up UV rays and skin cancer.

4. The Kid Who Can’t Hold It

Feel that sudden warmth on your leg? Sweet, sweet relief.

5. The Overly Friendly Guy (aka The Creep)

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You never know if he’s practicing holding his breath, or checking you out underwater with 3D goggles.

6. The Doggy Paddler

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Also known as the person who learned to “swim” 20 minutes ago.

7. The Sloth

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Oh, did you want to just float there like a lifeless corpse drifting off to sea? One word: Bathtub.

8. The Accessories Whore

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Swim cap, goggles, kick board, flippers, ear plugs, water bottle, workout bag, arm floaties, stopwatch, hat, sunscreen, flip-flops… What are we doing here again?

9. The Mermaid

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Stare long enough at this magnificent half-human, half-fish species and you will likely drown in a pile of your own tears from how beautiful it is. So. Damn. Fluid!

10. The Human Hairball

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Full-body wet suit or Big Foot? You be the judge.

11. The Preteens

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Boys in speedos make them blush, and a Cosmo mag is always close at hand.

12. The Flailer

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Exasperated breathing, legs kicking uncontrollably, arms splashing water in everyone else’s faces, and always completely oblivious.

13. The Pregnant Woman

Above the surface she’s an average swimmer, but underneath she’s carrying the miracle of life!

14. The Aquatic Adversary

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Even if you don’t want to race, he’s the guy one lane over that will always make you feel inferior by straining his fingers to touch the wall first.

15. The Senior Citizens

They’re SO CUTE, but they move at a snails pace and you can’t tell if they’ve been in the water too long or if those are just wrinkles.

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