Here is the Captain pondering the Space-time continuum theory
I'm too sexy for my shirt (but not this scarf)
He boldly went for the first interracial kiss on television!
I've just been Shat through the heart
His uniform is basically made of wrapping paper
Still smolders in a ball pit full of space hamsters
"Why does everyone keep tearing my clothes off?"
He pioneered the middle-distance gaze
It's exhausting when you're this glorious
Thanks Bill, you're still a fox at 85 years old
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