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17 Tweets About Trying To Eat Healthy That Are Pretty Funny

Lunch and I are happy to welcome our child into the world: Baby halloumi.

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1.

I haven't eaten an apple in days. The doctors are closing in. My barricade won't last much longer. They're coming. Tell my family I love th-

2.

Vegetarian Zombies; They want your grains.

3.

When you eat a fruit & feel healthy AF

4.

How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong

5.

6.

Buying a salad is all fun and games until you have to eat it.

7.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too." - People who don't understand what you're supposed to do with cake

8.

Food delivery is a combination of my three favorite things: 1. Food 2. Not moving 3. Avoiding people

9.

I'm sitting in a hotel restaurant at 7AM with Bond music playing. This might be the best oatmeal I ever have - or the last.

10.

Idea for a bakery that only sells baguettes and bagels called Gender Rolls.

11.

Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie. Me: It's pronounced Quiche.

12.

going vegetarian was the best decision I ever made, I just need to cut out dairy, eggs and boys and all impurities will be gone from my life

13.

when u want to be vegan and u also want cheese

14.

Lunch and I are so excited to welcome our child into the world: baby halloumi

15.

would not be surprised if 80%+ cans of non-chopped tinned tomatoes are purchased in error

16.

I suspect that low-carb diets work not because they are healthier, but because without carbs I simply lose the will to eat.

17.

Trying to eat well but autocorrect changing 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snacks' to 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snakes' doesn't help.