1.
I haven't eaten an apple in days. The doctors are closing in. My barricade won't last much longer. They're coming. Tell my family I love th-
2.
Vegetarian Zombies; They want your grains.
3.
When you eat a fruit & feel healthy AF
4.
How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong
5.
Who you gonna call?
6.
Buying a salad is all fun and games until you have to eat it.
7.
"You can't have your cake and eat it too." - People who don't understand what you're supposed to do with cake
8.
Food delivery is a combination of my three favorite things: 1. Food 2. Not moving 3. Avoiding people
9.
I'm sitting in a hotel restaurant at 7AM with Bond music playing. This might be the best oatmeal I ever have - or the last.
10.
Idea for a bakery that only sells baguettes and bagels called Gender Rolls.
11.
Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie. Me: It's pronounced Quiche.
12.
going vegetarian was the best decision I ever made, I just need to cut out dairy, eggs and boys and all impurities will be gone from my life
13.
when u want to be vegan and u also want cheese
14.
Lunch and I are so excited to welcome our child into the world: baby halloumi
15.
would not be surprised if 80%+ cans of non-chopped tinned tomatoes are purchased in error
16.
I suspect that low-carb diets work not because they are healthier, but because without carbs I simply lose the will to eat.
17.
Trying to eat well but autocorrect changing 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snacks' to 'Must fill kitchen with healthy snakes' doesn't help.