back to top

The Definitive Ranking Of Ice Lollies From Worst To Best

Our decision is final. We will brook no argument.

Posted on

10. Fab

OK, before we begin, we'll discuss the title. Ice-cream? Ice-lolly? Is there a difference? For the purposes of this article, no. An ice-cream is a single-serving cooling treat bought from the corner shop.

With that in mind, we approach the Fab. A mix of frozen fruit-flavoured ice and strawberry ice-cream, topped with multicoloured sprinkle, the Fab is the Topic in the Celebrations tin of the Ice-cream world. Nobody wants it, but it'll do.

9. Fruit Pastilles

The Fruit Pastilles lolly is a jaunty, if over-priced, summer snack that delivers a surprising amount of bang for its buck. However, although it tries hard, it cannot overcome the flaws that strike all Fruit Pastille-branded products. Namely, the green bits are rank.


8. Mr Freeze

Pros: Cheap, loads of flavours including 'blue'.

Cons: Freezes your hand when you hold it, difficult to open unless you carry a pen-knife, will slice open the corners of your mouth with its weirdly resilient plastic packaging.

6. Feast

The Feast has its downfalls, we know. The chocolate's a bit crap. The centre always falls off the stick. It's smaller than it looks. But its ramshackle nature makes it even more appealing. And when spotted, the elusive Mint Feast is glory in ice-cream form.

5. Magnum

So posh by default, it feels déclassé to put them in a list post. But as the years have wound on, Magnum's status has been toppled. There are posher ice-creams now. But the creamy vanilla centre, and the thick chocolate crust means that this lolly is a perennial.

3. Calippo

Despite the weird slurpy bit at the end. Despite the fact that half-way through the cardboard edges start to wilt. Despite the fact that Mango Rubicon ice-lollies are lovely. Nobody will ever turn down a Calippo.