How Irish Are You?

Harder than the Leaving Cert.

Matt Tucker / Via BuzzFeed
  1. 1. You've lost your phone. What do you do?
    1. Look for it in the last place you left it.
    2. Pray to St. Anthony.
    3. Call it from another phone.
    4. Resign yourself to a life off the grid.
  2. 2. How long should a wedding last?
    1. An hour and a half — civil ceremony, canapés, bosh.
    2. Five hours — town hall, reception, dinner, DJ.
    3. Seven hours — church, dinner, band, DJ.
    4. If it’s over in under 10 hours then it’s not a wedding.
  3. 3. You're in a corner shop, what do you purchase?
    1. Milk and cigarettes.
    2. A chicken fillet roll.
    3. A breakfast roll.
    4. The newspaper.
  4. 4. What is an appropriate way to end a conversation?
    1. “Good-bye.”
    2. “Bye now.”
    3. “See you, God bless.”
    4. “Bye. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.”
  5. 5. Which of these phrases invokes the most terror?
    1. “Come home, we have to talk.”
    2. “Your account balance is 0.00.”
    3. “Honours Maths”
    4. “Your mother and I are very disappointed in you.”
  6. 6. Which of these is the most socially unacceptable?
    1. Never getting a round in.
    2. Taking notions.
    3. Acting the maggot.
    4. Picking your nose.
  7. 7. What do you call your parents?
    1. Mum and Dad.
    2. Mammy and Daddy.
    3. Their first names.
    4. Mom and Pop.
  8. 8. A tourist stops you in the street, asking for directions. You don't know the answer. What do you do?
    1. Direct them to the tourist information office.
    2. Shrug and tell them to ask someone else.
    3. Tell them you’ll walk with them for a bit, to see if you can remember.
    4. Google directions for them.
  9. 9. Cup of tea?
    1. Oh, yes, Barry’s please.
    2. Lyons would be grand, thanks.
    3. Do you have Earl Grey?
    4. No thanks, I don’t like hot drinks.
  10. 10. You might have left the immersion on. How does this make you feel?
    1. What’s the immersion?
    2. Oh no! I thought it was on a timer!
    3. I’m sorry, I have to go home right away.
    4. Ach, it will keep.
  11. 11. Bono is...?
    1. The lead singer of U2.
    2. A musician and an activist.
    3. A famous Irishman.
    4. A pox.

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Ailbhe Malone is the UK lifestyle editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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