So, basically, the world isn't real, because Nintendo of America just hired a guy named Bowser as VP of sales.
Via businesswire.com
And Business Wire blessed us with the incredible news headline, seen above.
Here he is, everybody: Doug Bowser.
Business Wire
Nintendo / fantendo.wikia.com
Starting today, Bowser "will oversee a variety of sales-related functions, including Sales, In-store Merchandising, Retail Strategy and Retail Marketing," according to Business Wire. As if Nintendo hiring its main villain as a VP isn't confusing enough for my childhood, Bowser also used to work for another video game company, Electronic Arts.
You may think that Doug Bowser is named after only one Nintendo character, but he actually also shares a first name with Captain Falcon!
Nintendo
According to fan sources, Captain Falcon's full name is actually DOUGLAS JAY FALCON.
Via ssbwiki.com
WELCOME, DOUG(LAS JAY?) BOWSER, NINTENDO MESSIAH!
Business Wire / Nintendo / Michelle Regna for BuzzFeed
Nintendo tweeted this photo of Bowser out last night.
And now a message from our new Vice President of Sales, Doug Bowser. http://t.co/Qb6GYxgRrC
