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Nintendo Hired A Dude Named Bowser And Nothing Is Real Anymore

The name is Bowser. Doug Bowser. UPDATE: Nintendo of America tweeted out an incredible photo of Bowser.

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So, basically, the world isn't real, because Nintendo of America just hired a guy named Bowser as VP of sales.

And Business Wire blessed us with the incredible news headline, seen above.
Via businesswire.com

And Business Wire blessed us with the incredible news headline, seen above.

Here he is, everybody: Doug Bowser.

Business Wire
Nintendo / fantendo.wikia.com

Starting today, Bowser "will oversee a variety of sales-related functions, including Sales, In-store Merchandising, Retail Strategy and Retail Marketing," according to Business Wire. As if Nintendo hiring its main villain as a VP isn't confusing enough for my childhood, Bowser also used to work for another video game company, Electronic Arts.

You may think that Doug Bowser is named after only one Nintendo character, but he actually also shares a first name with Captain Falcon!

Nintendo

According to fan sources, Captain Falcon's full name is actually DOUGLAS JAY FALCON.

WELCOME, DOUG(LAS JAY?) BOWSER, NINTENDO MESSIAH!

Business Wire / Nintendo / Michelle Regna for BuzzFeed

Nintendo tweeted this photo of Bowser out last night.

And now a message from our new Vice President of Sales, Doug Bowser. http://t.co/Qb6GYxgRrC

And Tumblr noticed there was something a little bit.... off about the photo.

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