Buzz·Posted on Feb 13, 201524 Things Your Parents Did That Guaranteed You Never Got A DateMom and dad should have known better.by Ahmed Ali AkbarBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Your parents were obviously the ones who insisted you use a rolling bookbag: View this photo on Instagram instagram.com Which you could fill with all the numbers you didn't get! 2. They didn't say anything when you replaced all of your pants with JNCO jeans: Via imgur.com Perfect for those of us with no ass and massive thighs. 3. They lied to you when they said you looked good on photo day: Via imgur.com And you had to live with the consequences. 4. They let you wear Dragon Ball Z button-up shirts to school: Via etsy.com We all know guys who still wear these shirts. They are still dateless. 5. Or Looney Tunes sweatshirts: Via surfacescan.blogspot.com Because why the hell not? 6. Your mom came to your games and was a little too enthusiastic: Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com MOM I NEED MY CRUSH TO COME HUG ME WHEN I SCORE A GOAL NOT YOU. 7. They lent out old fedoras and trench coats, because they thought they made you look handsome: iStockphoto Peter Finnie / Via Getty Images They didn't. 8. Your mom let you do your own makeup so you could try to look as glamorous as this: Vince Bucci / Via AFP / Getty Images Even Christina is kinda struggling to pull it off, so how could you? NO DATES. 9. They didn't unpop both of your collars before you walked out the door: Via imgur.com Or take off your extra polo, for that matter. 10. They gave you a bowl cut: Via imgur.com Because it was both convenient and stylish! 11. Or frosted tips: Chris Weeks / Via Getty Images OK, so this one may have gotten you dates because the '90s were a freakish hell, but IT SHOULDN't HAVE. 12. Or a middle part: Via starcasm.net Guilty as charged. 13. They sometimes chaperoned dances and made grinding a literal hell: Via imgur.com How am I supposed to get my grind on with those daggers on me, MOM? 14. They said boys would think your unibrow was cute: View this photo on Instagram instagram.com / Via imgur.com Some of us just learned to rock it with pride. 15. They didn't teach you to shave right away, so you had a rat-stache: FAMEFLYNET PICTURES FAMEFLYNET PICTURES AKA a crustache or pube-stache. 16. They suggested you get transition lenses, because it's like a free pair of sunglasses: View this photo on Instagram instagram.com You tragically realized how wrong this was about four years too late. 17. They didn't care you had no talent when you entered talent shows: Via imgur.com It's a Spice World out there. 18. They let you start a band in middle school, even though you didn't know how to play instruments: Via imgur.com Yeah, you definitely thought this made you sexy. 19. Your parents kissed you good-bye way too aggressively in front of your friends: Matt Slocum / Via AP You realize now that this was understandable, but it was still embarrassing. 20. They insisted you join a robotics or math club: Via imgur.com This did, however, pay literal dividends in the end. 21. They made you get braces, but also gave you cornrows?? Via imgur.com Because that made sense. 22. They bought you Pokémon cards and let you bring them to school: Via i.imgur.com Your Charizard card was promptly stolen, as well as your heart. 23. They gave you leftovers instead of Lunchables: Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF ABC / Via youtube.com This hit us immigrant kids especially hard, but c'mon, our food was way more delicious. 24. And if by some miracle somebody was digging your style, your parents found a way to scare the living hell out of them: Via imgur.com "BACK AT HOME BEFORE 6 P.M. TODAY, YOUNG MAN, AND CALL ME EVERY HALF HOUR SO I KNOW SHE'S SAFE."