1. Your name is beautiful, but people always try to sneak a harsh KHHHHHH sound into your name.
2. Because you have an Arabic name, people assume you're fluent.
3. There are so many cultures with different ways to pronounce your name — Arab, South Asian, Turkish, American — that you start feeling schizophrenic.
4. You and your friend group settle on one way of pronouncing Ahmed...
5. ...then you meet someone of another culture who thinks the way you say your name is totally hilarious.
6. People don't stop asking you if they're saying it wrong. Some just give up hope of ever saying it right.
Back home, people could never pronounce my little brother Ahmed's name: Ahamed, Akmed, Akhhmed, Awmed. We just ended up calling him Chris.
7. Ahmed is extremely common as a first, middle and last name. And sometimes all three at the same time.
*hits blunt* If my first name Ahmed and my last name Ahmed. Am I just Ahmed squared?
8. The battle between Ahmad and Ahmed is real.
9. Even though you have one of the most popular names in the world, the Internet has a way of making you feel utterly alone.
10. And the only celebrity who shared your name for most of the 90s was this guy: Ahmed Johnson.
11. The other popular usage of your name is so vile and wrong, you dare not speak it's name.
12. People ask you if it's okay if they call you something other than Ahmed but they're generally not real names.
I often remember an old friend of my dad's who was in his 80's & couldn't pronounce Ahmed so he used to call and ask for Almond
Also common: Omelette. Armand. "A."
13. You answer to the name "Muhammad."
14. Your name sometimes produces strong emotional reactions from people. Like the government.
I don't need a Halloween name. 'Saladin Ahmed' scares America enough on its own.
15. You can never tell when your name will set off red flags.
16. When you go to the airport, the agent or kiosk goes through all the steps of checking in, until they look at your name....
17. ...and the agent tells you that your name was flagged for suspicion because it was on a list of "bad" names.
18. And oh yeah, sometimes baristas misspell your name.
19. But that's pretty much the least of your problems.
Amed, Akhmed, Achmed, Aamed.. Heard everything except my actual name #ArabProblems