Response to Date A Girl Who Dances:
I saw this on one of my friend’s facebook feed – and your comments about being curious about the guy’s perspective got me thinking. So I started typing, and this came out: Date a guy who dances
(from a hetero US male perspective – would love to see other perspectives, but this is the only one I can claim to speak from) In all deference to solo dancers (someone else can write that article) – here we’re talking about partner dancers. From the ones everybody knows – the salsas and swings of the world – to the ones seemingly done by only professionals or by your parents at cousin Julie’s wedding – the waltzes and foxtrots – to the younger dances now demanding attention – the zouks and kizombas. Date a guy who dances these. Not the guy who “dances” these as an excuse to be inappropriately close or touchy. That guy sucks – and we can’t stand him any more than you and apologize on behalf of our gender that those guys are out there. No. Date a guy who dances because he loves dancing. The guy who stays up too late watching youtube videos for ideas for new steps. The guy who listens to a Pandora station for his favorite dance at work, subtly moving his feet under the desk, and then realizes 45 minutes later he completely got lost in his own world and is late on the TPS report he was supposed to submit.
The guy who’s seen this and thought “you know, that’s not a bad idea” because he’d kind of like the chance to experiment with new arm configurations without subjecting a partner to becoming a potential pulled-muscle pretzel. http://www.frequency.com/video/need-salsa-practice-httpbitlysmooth-your/156636096 Date a guy who dances, because he is vivacious, athletic, spry and mischievous. A guy who dances won’t be content with a life that bounces between a chair at work and a chair at home. He will want to go see live music (will there be space to dance?), go to dinner parties (can I bring my speakers?), go wine tasting (I’m even better tipsy!), to explore different cultures and countries that influenced his favorite dances (quieres bailar conmigo?), and he will want to share that life with you. The guy who wholeheartedly believes Nietzsche’s quote that “And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” Date a guy who dances because you will be able to touch his imagination. A guy who dances has a vast world of music, steps, stories, desires, etc. behind his eyes. If he hears a new song he likes, he immediately imagines dancing to it. He will create an entire story behind the dance; maybe it is a slow waltz being danced by an elderly couple at their 50th anniversary party. Maybe it is a hurt salsa, and he pictures expressing himself through movement to his ex who broke his heart. Maybe it is a longing tango – between two people who inexplicably connected on one random summer night to the sounds of an old man’s bandoneon playing classic tangos at the shore of the Seine in Paris. Date a guy who dances because he embodies romance. Note: this next part might not be that modern, but all of my male dancer friends I’ve discussed this with have echoed this:
Date a guy who dances because he will relish the opportunity to be the frame to your picture, the stand to your sculpture, the stage to your play. Societal or biological, there is a deep need in most guys to be a provider, supporter, a rock – against which we, right or wrong, judge our self-worth. As much as he enjoys dancing in itself, that enjoyment pales in comparison to the joy he feels when a song ends and the look of happiness on your face is a bigger compliment than any words could ever be. Date a guy who dances because he will always put your enjoyment and safety above his own – on the dance floor and off. Date a guy who dances because his frame extends throughout his life. A guy who dances knows when to be strong, and when to be gentle; he knows how to lead, and when to step back and just admire his partner as she shines on her own. Date a guy who dances because as he learned to lead he learned to read subtle signals. A guy who dances has learned to listen to your verbal language, but your body language as well. Now, earmuffs time for the kiddos, date a guy who dances because they are betters lovers (according to a very scientific poll of my female friends). A guy who dances has learned the importance of touch, and is comfortable being close (and he’s probably in pretty good shape!). A guy who dances has been through a wide variety of moves, poses, lifts, etc. with partners, and he knows what is comfortable, what is not, where friendly areas of the body end, and where intimate parts begin, how to turn one into the other, and he has learned to tease. A guy who dances knows that the experience is made by the journey – not by one moment. A slow body roll on its own pales next to the slow body roll after the rapid series of spins. A guy who dances knows how to enjoy the playful introduction to the song, the dramatic verses, the long vocal holds, the intensifying bridge. He is aware of how to let the music slowly but powerfully devour two separate entities and leave in their place a singular servant to rhythm. A guy who dances recognizes when the time is right to let go of rational thought in favor of submission to the release of the building animalistic appetite for a visceral connection with another human. Date a guy who dances because together you will make the world disappear.