Anyone who's so much as opened a dating app will know how tough it can be to find a good romantic partner. In fact, we recently shared a whole post about people who had experienced terrible dates.
The replies were so full of terrifying, awkward, rude, and flat-out weird dates that we thought we'd write another post from the responses. Get ready to embrace single life:
1."Oh my gosh. I once went on a second date where the guy took me to get ice cream on the beach. Nice. Normal.
Then, once we had our ice cream in our hands and were deciding where to sit, he came up with the idea to sit on the beach... And rate the women that went by on a scale of 1-10. Yes, this was his literal suggestion that he made out loud. There was no third date."
2."When I was 18, my sister’s husband’s 30-year-old brother called my mom to ask if he could take me on a date.
She agreed, somehow not realizing it was an actual date. It was at his company's Christmas party. While on the date, he tried to make conversation with me about photography – something we both liked – but wanted to talk super-technically about equipment.
He became irritated when I didn’t know anything about my camera or lenses, etc. He proceeded to get drunk and belligerent and kept loudly talking about the fact that I wasn’t having a good time. We obviously never went out again, but he was family, so I got to see him a lot. He’d always just hyperventilate when I came into a room."
3."He didn't want to pick a place to meet because he said choosing a location was 'draining' (okay, maybe I should have seen the red flag there). I picked a nice pub halfway between us that's famous for its great beers, because he'd said in his profile that he was really into his ales.
When I suggested it, though, he asked me to send over the beer list. This place doesn't have an online menu, so I said that for him to see the beer in advance, I'd have to travel for half an hour, physically go in to take a picture of the taps, and then head home before getting ready for the date. He said 'That's fine, yeah.'
I did not do this, and when he arrived, he had a lot to say about the quality of the (nice! Lovely!) beer. We talked for a little bit, and after about five minutes (and half a pint – he clearly didn't hate the booze THAT much), he started repeating everything I said in a fake-Irish accent. For context, I'm Irish. He is English.
I started talking about how tough the apps can be (to END the accent hell), and TBF, he did switch back to the ol' RP. We had an okay chat, and then he said that I wasn't usually his type, because he goes for more petite girls. I told him he wasn't my normal cup of tea either (which is true – too tall for my usual, personal taste, but I was being open-minded!) and he got very offended. There was not a second date."
4."I hate even telling this story, because I didn't magically become attractive because I lost some weight (my personality was great the entire time). But once, I met up with a guy who wasn't happy that I was chubby. I could just see it on his face.
He texted someone and magically got a phone call from his office saying he needed to come into work at 7 PM on a Saturday. So, my chubbiness was so off-putting that he had to text a friend to call him and save him from it.
A year or so later, I took off my glasses, let my hair down, got a makeover, and lost a measly 20 pounds lol. JK, all I did was lose the 20 pounds (and I was beautiful all along, thank you). He hit me up again, commenting on how great I looked in my pics. He said nothing about our meeting the past year. I don't even know if he remembered me at all.
He asked me out, and I said yes. I got there, looked him up and down with a face that said 'I just sniffed a fart', and immediately got a phone call from my mom telling me I had to come into work at 6 PM on a Thursday."
5."Covid-19 lockdown began the day before my 31st birthday. The next year featured a cheating husband, divorce, a move, and a cancer scare with my kid.
So needless to say, I was raring to go on a date of any kind by my 32nd birthday. I arranged to meet a guy I met on Facebook dating (in hindsight, this should have been a red flag). We agreed to have drinks at a Mexican restaurant which was, admittedly, closer to my home than his – but he said he was okay with the 15-minute drive.
He called me on his way over to complain about the then-new president (Biden, who I had enthusiastically voted for), and to whinge about gas prices. He continued to talk until we pulled into the pqarking lot. He was driving a Prius that I knew for a fact has amazing gas mileage – how much of a financial drain could that short drive have really been?
While we were eating, he felt the need to tell me that I reminded him so much of his girl best friend. Apparently, the main similarity was that I was 'curvy, but proportionate, which is what really matters.' Although I didn't appreciate the comment, I'm a mother in my thirties and wasn't oblivious to the fact I no longer had my teenage body. So, I stupidly stayed – even after that.
He then proceeded to refer to his ex – the mother of his daughter – as 'Her Bitchesty' for the rest of the night. He also shared her deeply personal information, like the type of medication she was on. Thankfully, it was Sunday, and the restaurant closed at 9 PM. So after no less than 15 minutes of telling him why I had to go home, I was free.
I had a text by 6am telling me it was the best first date he'd ever been on. I thanked him for a fun night, but told him I didn't feel a romantic connection. He then told me that I was just like all the other bitches who 'just want to be friends', and then asked me to delete his number, because he had already deleted and blocked mine. I hope he's still a jester in Her Bitchesty's court."
6."Years ago I went on a date with this guy we will call 'Blonde Dad'. I knew from his profile that he had a kid, and he mentioned in the first few messages that he wanted to take it slow, which I was fine with. We messaged for a few weeks before finally deciding to plan a date.
The first red flag came when he texted me the day before our date to tell me that he had impulsively bleached his hair. He sent me pictures. He had dark hair, almost black, and he did a home bleach job with super patchy toner so some spots were yellow and some were white-blonde. It looked terrible, but I tried to be nice.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I texted him saying I was there. He told me he would be in once he finished listening to his song (second red flag). He also showed up wearing a graphic tee and too-big jeans. He looked like a teenager who lived at a mall arcade from the '90s (that's not a red flag, but we are in our 30s – at least wear something that doesn't have holes in it).
So we get into the SUSHI restaurant, and since it was BYOB, I had gotten a bottle of delicious ginger wine. He brought a bottle of pinot noir (iykyk). I offered him some of my ginger wine, and he loved it so much he kept refilling his glass until he had drank more than HALF. I chugged a bunch from my glass and poured every remaining drop into my glass.
He then complained about his ex and son, and also talked for wayyyy too long about how bad his teeth are and about his poor dental hygiene. I was so grossed out that when he got up to go to the bathroom, I threw cash on the table and RAN out the door. I blocked his number and unmatched him on the way home. I felt a little bad because he had driven like an hour to see me but he was weird, rude, and gross."
7."I went on a Tinder date with a guy who was good-looking, but not exactly my type. We had a nice time, and went back to his place for a nightcap. He whipped out his guitar and began to sing. I don’t have a huge 'thing' for musicians or anything, but I thought it was kind of sweet that he sang me a song.
Then, it just... never stopped. I was slumped over SLEEPING on his couch for two entire hours before waking up to him – still singing. I wiped the drool from my mouth and called an Uber with him still singing, making eye contact with me as I’m walking out the door. He may well still be crooning to this day.
Now I can’t be around people who break out in song in public or who try to rope me into an acoustic session. It sends me into a death spiral. What in the actual FUCK 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣."
8."I was talking to someone online once who went on about having bad oral hygiene. I was totally turned off but tried to be polite and said he should set alarms for reminders, he said it didn't work and needed someone to remind him.
He also said he had such bad social anxiety that he needed someone to make doctors appointments for him. That's valid, but it wasn't what I was after in a romantic relationship. I politely told him it wouldn't work but thank you. He literally told me it was my loss. 😂 I started ghosting men guilt free after that."
9."I had a guy have a literal temper tantrum talking about how his co-workers at Target called him by an abbreviation of his name (Michael to Mike for example). He absolutely hated it.
He became threatening toward his co-workers, and although he didn’t say anything threatening to me, it was clear he had major anger issues. I paid for my half and beelined it out of there."
10."I was seeing a food editor for a while, and to be fair, at the start he was really lovely. Engaging, interesting, funny; all that good stuff.
That said, you know how when a chef comes home from work, often the last thing they want to do is cook? Well, I'm guessing he had that, but for eating good food. Because when I tell you that every time he chose a place to eat, I developed a new food phobia, I mean it.
His work took him to loads of fancy dinners and Michelin-starred restaurants, so I understand if he's sick of THAT (take me to an old-fashioned caff or run-down local gem of a restaurant any day). I'm not fussy at all, and I love stuff like chicken livers and pickled cherries. In other words, it's not a money thing or an 'unadventurous date' thing; he just had a truly shocking palette.
His culinary offerings included: undercooked pub cocktail sausages inexplicably coated in honey, a bowl of genuinely inedible bacon-flavoured corn puffs, and unsalted bread that was still a gummy ball in the middle. It was meant to be a San Fran-style sourdough loaf.
It turned out he wasn't particularly into me and had been seeing someone else the whole time, so maybe I should have taken the horrible food as the hints they probably were. Just remember, ladies — a pack of mini pickled onion-flavour cured sausages is not likely to come from someone who cares about you."
