1.
Why do I have to reference everything in essays why can’t they just trust me
2.
being a mad bastard https://t.co/aa1vRRBQOf
3.
There’ll be stories on just eat next
4.
My kids are currently pretending to be reindeer. The 7yo is Rudolf and the 3yo says she’s Olive. I was like, Olive? Olive, the other reindeer, she says
5.
My ego simply can’t survive not being flirted with in a smoking area any longer
6.
7.
bringing this absolute gem back
8.
RTE created Covid so they don't have to give a PS5 to everyone in the audience for the Toy Show
9.
maura higgins name is so funny to me bc she’s obviously so hot but her name sounds like an old lady who makes apple pies
10.
I've given out about the inconsistent smells of hand sanitisers in shops already, so now it's time to give out about the amount that gets dispensed. It's all over the place. In one shop you'll get a mouse's dying breath, other shops it hits your hand like a cow pissing on a road
11.
It doesn’t take much to send me on the drink but havard referencing comes as close as you’ll get
12.
Imagine waiting six weeks for pubs to open just to order a pint of orchard thieves
13.
Do you ever meet someone’s ma or da and be like Awh yes it all makes sense now
14.
15.
"Fair fucks"- the best phrase for congratulating someone in Ireland. It could be for anything: climbing Everest, the birth of a child, carrying 4 pints. It should be an official honour. "You have been commended for bravery. Fair Fucks To You" Signed: President Michael D Higgins
16.
17.
once I was in a subway station in nyc when a rat ran by carrying a bag of crisps so I turned to the guy next to me to laugh and hearing my accent he asked "u irish?" then "why do your people drink so much?" ??? excuse me sir we are laughing at a rat not unpacking cultural trauma
18.
Went to put a picture up of me da for his birthday there and accidentally listed him up for sale on the shopping page Hahahahahahah Instagram changing all the buttons
19.
Imagine ringing the chipper 220 times without calling it a day she must have been fucking starving
20.
I was going into Dunnes and there were teenagers outside and one of them pointed at me and said “there’s you” to their mate and they all laughed 😭
21.
The really posh Dublin accent stresses me out. You’re lying, you don’t sound like that, you’re literally putting it on. Please stop letting the country down
22.
James McClean has tested positive for COVID-1916
23.
the Pfizer and Moderna vaccine