If you've been online today, you will have heard the news: some Bounties, possibly the most controversial selection box sweets of all time, have been taken out of their natural habitat (the Celebrations box).
The makers of the Bounty bar have recognised the divisive nature of their product by trialling a “Bounty-free” box of Celebrations https://t.co/yVTgNCjvPE
So far it's only a trial, but responders online have taken its judgement pretty seriously. There are P̶h̶i̶l̶i̶s̶t̶i̶n̶e̶s̶ people who couldn't be happier with the news:
Celebrations are removing bounty bars from the box 🎉
And the righteously angry, who understand the soft and subtle glory of the coconut/chocolate combo:
They’re removing bounty from celebrations ? Throw away the whole box Kmt
Now, journalism is not an easy job. A good journo does more than blindly report: they interrogate and push back, even under threat of criticism and ostracisation. With that said, I feel it's my duty to put this out there – I love Bounties, and even if you don't, I think you should support their right to exist in the Celebrations box.
Firstly, let's start with the bar itself. It is okay not to like a Bounty. It's okay, even, to hate them. *I* hate some things that should go together (a chicken and cheese combo upsets me). Having the right to feel that way, however, does not mean I am right. So, though the anti-Bounty brigade's feelings are valid, they are feelings: coconut and chocolate are, as close to objectively as possible, divine together.
That said, I won't force my opinions on you unprovoked. I understand people's preferences differ. The coconut texture is a lot if you don't like it, and the flavour isn't everyone's cup of tea either. I believe that personal taste is a matter of individual joy, not one of law, logic, or mob rule. I am not, for instance, a vocal Bounty hater.
Which brings me to my main point – the Celebrations box is all about compromise. Selection boxes try to be for everyone, and end up not really being fully for anyone: for every Green Triangle, there is an Orange Creme. For every mini Twirl, there is a tiny Creme Egg bar. And for every Galaxy Truffle, there must be a Bounty. To buy a Celebrations box is to accept the tradeoffs central to unity (am I saying that? Sure, I guess): it's not about liking everything in there, but about accepting the right of everyone else to enjoy their (often questionable) favourites. Celebrations are made, after all, to be shared.
And before you ask, I'll answer: yes, I am aware that it's a tiny chocolate bar and not a constitutional right. But is now really the time to divide the nation further? Or should we be reminded that, despite our differences, we are all in a rapidly-shrinking tin of increasingly conflicting tastes, and can only hope to stay together despite ourselves – like fudge sticks and strawberry cremes, or chocolate and coconut.
Also, I really, really like it when I get to eat all the Bounties people have left behind in the box. P sweet for me :)
Lastly, I will say that my homeland is on the right side of this – I'll have access to all the Bounty-filled boxes I want, so I promise, UK, that I'm only saying this for your sakes. Youse are going through a lot right now, and I just don't think this is what you need.
UPDATE: Mars has said removing Bountys from the Celebrations box is a ‘UK only campaign, with no plans to bring it to Ireland at present’. #JusticeForBountys