back to top

Will I Let You Go Out With My Son?

The answer is probably no, but you can try.

Posted on
  1. What is my ideal date scenario for you and my son, Webster?

    Thinkstock
    Accompanying me while I buy groceries
    A PG-13 movie on VHS
    Watching a slideshow of production shots from Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938) starring Mickey Rooney, on Webster's Microsoft Surface (no audio)
    Watching Webster play a solo game of pick-up sticks
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Webster loves pick-up sticks, and it's fun to watch him.

    He needs supervision, because the sticks are sharp.

  2. I have preselected several locations, other than my house, that you may take Webster on dates. Name one of them.

    Thinkstock
    The bench outside the grocery store
    Texas Roadhouse
    The school library (FRONT SECTION ONLY)
    The craft fair at the YMCA (QUILT SECTION ONLY)
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The craft fair is a practical, safe, and fun date setting.

    But please stay within the quilt section. The last time we went to the craft fair Webster got lost in there for three days. I found him in the hand-spun yarn section, eating yarn, which I had to pay for.

  3. I will only allow you to kiss my son under which circumstance?

    Thinkstock
    I am present for the kiss
    You are both standing
    You are in my house (but NOT in Webster's bedroom!)
    All of the above
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Don't push it.

    You will only be allowed to kiss my son if you are inside my house (Webster's room is OFF LIMITS!), you are both standing, and I am present for the kiss. Nothing less is acceptable. And no smooching! Just a peck.

  4. Last but not least, how would you even ask my dear son Webster out?

    Thinkstock
    IM him on our shared MSN messenger account and try to reason with him
    Surprise him with the Riding Habit and Hat set for his Felicity American Girl Doll
    Graze his hand slightly with yours as you pass him in the hall at school. He'll know what it means.
    Let him eat all the raisins from your trail mix
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Webster's been asking for that doll outfit for months.

    He'd go out with you in an instant if you bought it for him. He may even let you play with Felicity. But please, don't touch her hair. We just finished detangling it.

Will I Let You Go Out With My Son?

You will not be dating my son

Sorry, you are not allowed to go steady with Webster. I'm starting to wonder if you even passed the original test? I don't let my son date liars.

You will not be dating my son
Thinkstock
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app
Yes, you are allowed to date my son

Congratulations, I will let you date my son.* Please follow all the rules; I am not afraid to change my mind. *After you have hand-delivered the Official Dating Application to me within 30 days of completing this quiz.

Yes, you are allowed to date my son
Thinkstock
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.
Get the app

Promoted

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss