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22 Times Gerard Way Wrote The Book On Twitter Sass

WARNING: Massive levels of sass ahead.

Most of us know Gerard Way as a musician, artist, writer, devoted husband, dad, and all-around awesome person.

But if you follow him on Twitter, you see another side of him. The weird, wonderful, sassy, internet troll Gerard.

Sub Pop / Via

Plus the musician-artist-writer-dad side! Which is why Gerard's Twitter feed is so perfect. It's full of tweets from a COOL TWITTER TROLL DAD.

Here are some of Gerard's sassy moments on Twitter dot com.

1. When there was a fire on Gerard Way and Gerard Way found out about it.

I'm on fiiiiiyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

2. When he sent out this little reminder.

just your daily reminder that crack is whack

3. When he decided to share something very personal about himself.

Unlike most humans, my body does not produce feces. Instead, it turns waste into fine crystals it expels through a slit in my stomach

Once collected, the crystals dissolve into a powder which one can then use to mix with water, creating a drinkable solution

The solution gives one the ability to speak Dutch for the period of around 4 hours, and a heightened sense of smell

Sometimes the stomach slit forms a vaguely blue gelatin residue that smells of ammonia

You can eat the gelatin but it has no nutritional value or benefits

Warner Music Group / Via

4. And uh, that other time he shared something very personal.

Instead of urinating I secrete a bluish milk like substance by squeezing the tip of my index finger and my thumb

It drips slowly but consistently, and lasts for about 20 seconds

The fluid is useless, but if mixed with rice pudding, quite delicious

5. And then there was that third time...

Twice monthly, this comes out of my body

Keep us updated on this one, Gerard! Yeesh!

6. This musing.

Imagine streaking in a welding factory...sparks hitting your bare buns, workers can't catch you...but the freedom!

7. Oh, and this musing too.

8. When he just wanted to get the idea out there, you know?

9. I mean, the first step in the creative process is having a concept, and Gerard knows that.

10. When he sent out this warning...though tbh it seems more like an open invitation to me.

I'll touch your face if you get too close


11. No caption necessary for this one.

Just a dad on the net *wind blows*

12. Or this one.

Just me over here bein a positive polly don't mind me

13. This one...isn't really surprising, but, good.

Over the years I've been compiling a list of songs that I think serial killers listen to

What's on that list, you say? Well...

Daydream Believer, that's probably number one at the top of the serial killer playlist, the crown jewel if you will

The one Elvis Christmas song where he's struggling to breathe at the end of it- that's on the list

Warner Music Group / Via

14. When he came up with a sweet name for a new comic book series, right on Twitter...

I think a good name for a comic book series would be Wild-Ass. I think this would be a very popular series.

Twitter: Where Ideas Happen.

...proceeded to write several reviews for said comic...

"This comic is wild as fuck"- Comic's Exploradome, on Wild-Ass

...and then wrote the actual comic script.

Better make room on that shelf for another Eisner

Good thing it already got rave reviews!!

15. When he knew his content needed to go viral and wasn't afraid to tell the world.

this shit really needs to go viral

It's good content. It's sassy and it's good and it NEEDS TO GO VIRAL, GODDAMMIT.

16. When he posted this in-depth look at a bidet.

17. Speaking of clean, remember that time he gave those health tips to the masses?

lick that hand and stick it in a ziplock bag of fundip you mad animal

18. When he was 50 (thousand) shades of sass.

I would see that film if it was 50 shades of taking incredible dumps on each other

50 shades of mutually sharing a mouth of mayonnaise

I'd watch it.

Warner Music Group / Via

19. THIS:

finally an April 1st holiday I can get behind- Waluigi Day

personally, I prefer Wario, but I'll take what I can get over that j off holiday

20. When he was sassy AF about the coolest new slang.

mf I been using af irl for like 6 mo

Warner Music Group / Via

21. And when he (hopefully on purpose?) trolled thousands of confused followers in the weirdest way.

And Google saw a sudden spike in "vasectomy tattoos" image searches that day.

22. Because, again...

I'm just a dad on the internet taking a break and having a great time

But Gerard isn't just weird and hilarious on Twitter, either. A lot of his tweets are also incredibly heartfelt, honest, open, and helpful.

Which shouldn't come as a surprise, since Gerard has always devoted time and energy to spreading positive messages to his fans throughout his career.

Do you guys realize how happy it makes me to see your faces when they light you all up? It's a gift. I never want to stop.

Ok-- I wasn't feeling good but I'm going to come out and try to say hi to as many of you as I can. I know you guys have been waiting in rain


And hey, if you don't have s Valentine today, remember that loving yourself is the best way to spend the day

sometimes the world makes it hard to love yourself, but you always have to try, and accept you for you. love YOU

Thank you for being a wonderful role model and hilariously sassy twitter person, Gerard! Keep being you!

Stay cool on the net, G. You're good AF.

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