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Would You Be A Better Date Than My New Man?

You probably don't even measure up to him, but you can try.

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  1. My beau, Percy, takes me to the Cheesecake Factory once a week. Where would you take me?

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    I would also take you to The Cheesecake Factory, but I would buy you two more cheesecakes than Percy did.
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    I would take you to Wendy's. They are having a sale on square burgers.
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    I would invite you to my townhouse for a meal incorporating many spices from my spice rack.
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    I would give you a printed copy of the Food Pyramid so you can pick which category of food you'd like to eat; we'd figure it out from there.
  2. Percy has very long arms, which add to his handsomeness. Can you compare to that?

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    No. My arms are so, so short, but I can still reach things on high shelves.
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    My arms are normal length, which I'm sure you'll find satisfactory.
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    I'm willing to bet my arms are actually longer than Percy's.
  3. Percy lets my son, Webster, watch him play golf games on his 2010 HP Pavilion laptop. How would you spend time with my son?

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    I didn't know you had a son.
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    I would read bedtime stories to your son.
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    I would watch a series of documentaries on the War of 1812 with your son on Blu-Ray.
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    I would teach your son a new skill, like whittling.
  4. My robust suitor drinks twelve glasses of filtered water a day. Are you as healthy as this man?

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    I drink twelve glasses of water a day as well, but it's not filtered.
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    I never drink water, but I am constantly doing squats.
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    Percy may be physically stronger than me in every way, but I think I could win in a battle of wit.
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    Percy is both stronger than me in mind and body. I concede to him.
  5. When Percy embraces me, his long arms wrap around me three times. Surely you've never enveloped anyone with such skill?

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    You know nothing. I have, and I can do it again anytime I want.
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    I, too, have felt Percy's arms around me, but I know for a fact they're only long enough to go around two and a half times. I'm sorry, but I will never date a liar.
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    I maintain that my normal-length arms are satisfactory; everyone tells me so.
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    I literally cannot measure up to Percy. This is clear.
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