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So, Brownies On The Edge Of The Pan Are Trash And I'll Tell You Exactly Why

People who disagree are just trying to be "edgy." Sorry, that was bad.

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Okay, let me just start off by telling you why I'm writing this. If you call yourself any sort of brownie aficionado, you better LISTEN UP.

It seems like everywhere you turn, someone's talking about how delicious the edge/corner pieces of a pan of brownies are. People can't seem to get enough of 'em. Well, I'm here to say: no, that's 100% wrong and here's why.

Yes, I just bought that all corner brownie pan on Amazon and paid extra for overnight shipping. No, I do not regret anything.

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The edge piece of the brownie is the best... don't even @ me lol

Now, let's contrast that with this list of UNDESIRABLE brownie qualities:

Getty Images

By the way, it took forever for me to even find a stock photo of a brownie that looked like it was an edge piece, because Getty Images obviously thinks no one likes those.

Hmm, interesting findings, huh? Strange how all the qualities of an "inside piece" fit the criteria of the first list perfectly? Don't believe me? See for yourself, Sherlock:

Getty Images

Alright, I officially hate "ooey" and "gooey" and will never use those descriptors again.

Let's look at an edge piece now. I know, I know, it's not easy, but you can avert your eyes shortly. Notice how all the undesirable qualities above seem to describe this excuse for a brownie. What a weird coincidence, huh?

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WRONG! Not a coincidence at all, because any brownie that comes from the edge of the pan ISN'T THE BEST PIECE. It's inherently flawed, like some kind of brownie factory reject!!! Sure, it's still good to eat, but all I'm saying is, it won't be the BEST.

But you know what? If some people insist on loving corner and edge brownies so much, that might actually work out better for us Middlers.

Should we be called Bette Middlers? That might be fun!!

You guys can continue eating the less desirable pieces while we feast on the soft, moist, delectable morsels that Fanny Farmer, the Almighty Creator of Brownies, surely intended.

Wait...I'm realizing something. Maybe, just maybe, it's what's inside the brownie that counts. We can probably all agree that the thrill of possibly getting salmonella while eating raw brownie batter is fun for everyone, Middlers and Outsiders alike. And as the holiday season approaches, [soft music starts playing] maybe that's the most important thing of all.

  1. Which type of brownie do you prefer???

    Getty images
    The middle ones, DUH.
    THE EDGE PIECES ARE SUPERIOR!!!

So, Brownies On The Edge Of The Pan Are Trash And I'll Tell You Exactly Why

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Which type of brownie do you prefer???
  1.  
    vote votes
    The middle ones, DUH.
  2.  
    vote votes
    THE EDGE PIECES ARE SUPERIOR!!!

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