Will I Let You Go To The Prom With My Son?

It’s his first prom, and he won’t be going with any troublemakers.

1. After much consideration, I have decided I will let my son Webster go to his junior prom, but now he needs a date, and time is running out.


2. I have begun screening potential dates for him. Do you qualify?

  1. So, tell me: where do you plan on taking my boy before the prom?
    1. The front stoop of my house
    2. The YMCA
    3. To Jayksonn’s (Webster’s best friend’s) house to play video games and swim in his hot tub
    4. The diner next to the Verizon store
  2. Webster wants to wear his favorite color to the prom, and it would look so nice for the scrapbook I'm making if his date matched him. What's his favorite color?
    1. Gray
    2. Burnt umber
    3. Mustard, because it’s the color of our carpets (not because Webster likes mustard– he will not tolerate it!)
    4. Clear
  3. Now, let me ask you this: What's Webster's favorite song to dance to?
    1. “Lady In Red” by Chris de Burgh
    2. “Chattahoochee” by Alan Jackson
    3. “Penny,” an original song by Webster about his favorite literary character, Felicity the American Girl
    4. “You Are My Sunshine,” which I sing to Webster almost every night
  4. I have, of course, arranged to be a chaperone at this year's prom.
    1. But…that’s not even a question…?
  5. Finally, how would you ask Webster to the prom?*

    *Theoretically, IF I allowed you to take him.

    1. Just walk up to him and ask him
    2. Pass him a note at school
    3. Call him on our landline, explain to me why you’re calling, and then ask him.
    4. Make him a handmade card with a poem, including a line that rhymes with Webster

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