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Will I Let You Go To The Prom With My Son?

It's his first prom, and he won't be going with any troublemakers.

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I have begun screening potential dates for him. Do you qualify?

  1. So, tell me: where do you plan on taking my boy before the prom?

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    Correct
    Incorrect
    The front stoop of my house
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The YMCA
    Correct
    Incorrect
    To Jayksonn's (Webster's best friend's) house to play video games and swim in his hot tub
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The diner next to the Verizon store
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The diner is pre-approved by me.

    The Texas Roadhouse in the strip mall is under construction, so the diner next to the Verizon store will have to do. Webster loves their coleslaw. Under no circumstances may Webster EVER go to Jayksonn's house! Jayksonn is a bad influence and a terror, and his parents let him drink caffeine after 1pm! Need I say more?

  2. Webster wants to wear his favorite color to the prom, and it would look so nice for the scrapbook I'm making if his date matched him. What's his favorite color?

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    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gray
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Burnt umber
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mustard, because it's the color of our carpets (not because Webster likes mustard– he will not tolerate it!)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Clear
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Webster's favorite color is burnt umber. You must be willing to wear this color.

    His favorite color was clear until he was 16, though.

  3. Now, let me ask you this: What's Webster's favorite song to dance to?

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    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Lady In Red" by Chris de Burgh
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Chattahoochee" by Alan Jackson
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "Penny," an original song by Webster about his favorite literary character, Felicity the American Girl
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "You Are My Sunshine," which I sing to Webster almost every night
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's perfectly fine for your favorite song to also be a song you wrote yourself.

    I don't know how to work the iPod, so if you'd be willing to help Webster put his song on at the prom, that would definitely help your chances as a prom date candidate.

  4. I have, of course, arranged to be a chaperone at this year's prom.

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    But...that's not even a question...?
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    I know.

    I just wanted you to be aware that if you go to the prom with my Webster, I'll be watching you at all times. There will be no horsing around with my son at the prom, that's for sure!

  5. Finally, how would you ask Webster to the prom?*

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    *Theoretically, IF I allowed you to take him.

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Just walk up to him and ask him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pass him a note at school
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Call him on our landline, explain to me why you're calling, and then ask him.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Make him a handmade card with a poem, including a line that rhymes with Webster
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    There's no need to be spontaneous.

    Just give us a call.

 
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