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7 Things Tired People Wish They Had In Their Lives

Tired people are just trying to get through the day.

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1. A card that plays a really loud sound byte from the beginning of System Of A Down's "Chop Suey!" whenever it's opened.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

2. A service where you can hire people to Weekend At Bernie's you.

I don't think Weekend At Bernie's-ing is acutally a thing, but it should be.
Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

I don't think Weekend At Bernie's-ing is acutally a thing, but it should be.

3. A kit for applying extreme '60s eye makeup that distracts from your tiredness.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

4. Being Awake For Dummies

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed
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5. Computerized contact lenses that make you think there's always a giant bug moving around in your peripheral vision.

You'd be alert (OK, and paranoid) as hell if you thought there was always a bug near you.
Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

You'd be alert (OK, and paranoid) as hell if you thought there was always a bug near you.

6. A virtual reality helmet (the virtual reality is that you're at home in your bed).

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

7. If all else fails, maybe they should put that eye-opening thing from A Clockwork Orange on the market.

OK, maybe a version that looks nicer and much less painful.
Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

OK, maybe a version that looks nicer and much less painful.