back to top

19 Songs That Are Actually Fuckboy Anthems

The fuckboy playlist you didn't know you needed, and maybe still don't need.

Posted on

1. Hoobastank, "The Reason"

Chung Sung-Jun / Getty Images

This is probably the definitive go-to fuckboy song of its generation. It's whiny and excuse-ridden to the point of hilariousness. Something about the tone and a few choice lyrics nullify the original sincere intent. The contender for most laughable argument made here is "I never meant to do those things to you," because it both implies that this dude had no control over his own actions, and also that the person he's trying to appease should feel better simply because he did something bad...but didn't mean it.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "I'm not a perfect person / There's many things I wish I didn't do / But I continue learning / I never meant to do those things to you"

2. Robin Thicke, "Blurred Lines"

Larry Marano / Getty Images

I mean, everyone knows how sexist and awful this song is. It probably even transcends fuckboy-ism, honestly.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "I hate these blurred lines / I know you want it"

Advertisement

3. The Weeknd, "The Hills"

Bryan Steffy / Stringer

This dude is hoping to keep his hookups with the subject of this song in complete secrecy. Judging from the lyrics, you kind of get the sense personality-wise that he doesn't give a single fuck, and that he's got some issues.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "I only fuck you when it's half past five / The only time I'd ever call you mine / I only love it when you touch me, not feel me / When I'm fucked up, that's the real me"

And:

"I just fucked two bitches 'fore I saw you"

4. Willie Nelson, "Always On My Mind"

Ian Gavan / Stringer / Getty Images

The scant admissions of a fuckboy, masquerading as a very sweet and touching song. The narrator is basically saying "Yes, I was extremely neglectful to you, BUT, hold on a second, because unbeknownst to you, during all the neglecting, I actually WAS thinking about you. So, there's that."

Most cringeworthy lyric: "And maybe I didn't hold you / All those lonely, lonely times / And I guess I never told you / I'm so happy that you're mine / Little things I should have said and done / I just never took the time / But you were always on my mind"

5. Jack Ü feat. Justin Bieber, "Where Are Ü Now"

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

File this in the "sad fuckboy" category. Biebs needs to be repaid for all the attention he was so generous to dole out to this girl!

Most cringeworthy lyric: "I gave you attention when nobody else was paying / I gave you the shirt off my back, what you saying?"

6. Drake, "How About Now"

Tim P. Whitby / Stringer / Getty Images

Similar to "Where Are Ü Now," this is a long reminder of all the things Drake did for a girl, for which he didn't get enough in return.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Remember when you had to take the bar exam, I drove in the snow for you"

7. Andy Grammer, "Honey, I'm Good."

Ethan Miller / Getty Images

There are several interesting elements to this song. At first listen, this just sounds like some country song on a wedding playlist, until you actually get into the lyrics and realize the narrator is a total douche. Although he's in a relationship, he has deliberately put himself into a situation where he's drinking with another woman (whom he is hitting on). He even goes on to say that if he keeps drinking, he may go home with this woman. Because, you know, avoiding that one drink is the only thing stopping him from fucking up the relationship he so values. Oh, and we're supposed to view this restraint as honorable, by the way.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "So nah, nah, honey, I'm good / I could have another but I probably should not / I've got somebody at home, and if I stay I might not leave alone"

Advertisement

8. Kanye West, "Runaway"

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Rare: a fuckboy acknowledging that he's a fuckboy, which ups the charm factor on what was already a beautiful song considerably.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "She find pictures in my email / I sent this girl a picture of my dick / I don't know what it is with females / But I'm not too good with that shit"

9. Brad Paisley, "Little Moments"

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Every time the object of Brad Paisley's affections does something uncharacteristically un-ladylike, he is very surprised, but also finds it just so darn cute. Imagine: a woman, swearing! A sweet, belittling love story for the ages.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard / That pretty mouth say that dirty word / And I can't even remember now what she backed my truck into / But she covered her mouth and her face got red / And she just looked so darn cute / That I couldn't even act like I was mad"

10. Nickelback, "Someday"

Buda Mendes / Getty Images

This whole song is quintessential fuckboy: the lyrics are jam-packed with vague promises to rectify the couple's issues, but, of course, there's absolutely no ETA on when, exactly, any of this will actually happen. In fact, that aspect is blatantly open-ended.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Someday, somehow / I'm gonna make it all right but not right now"

11. Drake, "Hotline Bling"

Christopher Polk / Getty Images

The narrative of "Hotline Bling" is a mix of sad and hilarious. If you miss her so much, why did you even leave the city in the first place?! This really doesn't sound like this girl's problem at all, tbh. She's just living her life.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Ever since I left the city / You got a reputation for yourself now / Everybody knows and I feel left out"

Advertisement

13. Cat Stevens, "Wild World"

Evening Standard / Stringer / Getty Images

This farewell song can be another deceptive one if you don't listen closely; the emotional melody and overall tone seem well-meaning enough, but the lyrics are actually pretty biting and condescending.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world / It's hard to get by just upon a smile / Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world / I'll always remember you like a child, girl"

14. American Hi-Fi, "Flavor of the Weak"

Scott Gries / Getty Images

This is the most obvious fuckboy anthem on this list, and unlike many of the others, it's completely intentional, as it's written by a guy who's not a fuckboy, about a fuckboy. Still, it's relevant.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "And he's got posters on the wall / Of all the girls he wished she was"

15. John Mayer, "Daughters"

Buda Mendes / Getty Images

Among other things, this song expresses the view that women are dependent on men, and that men need to be "strong" and "soldier on."

Most cringeworthy lyric: "On behalf of every man / Looking out for every girl / You are the god and the weight of her world"

16. Jason Derulo, "Whatcha Say"

Joseph Okpako / Stringer / Getty Images

This is a pretty straightforward (and super catchy) fuckboy song: a guy is sincerely apologizing (groveling, really) for, presumably, cheating. The sampling of Imogen Heap's "Hide And Seek" adds the ex-girlfriend's perspective as a response.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "I know what I did wasn't clever / But me and you were meant to be together"

17. Luke Bryan, "That's My Kind Of Night"

Daniel Boczarski / Stringer / Getty Images

A presumptuous and chauvinistic description of one fuckboy's perfect night, which includes copious female objectification, and then banging said female. Oh, also, in this fantasy scenario, there are a bunch of other guys that really want the girl, but they don't get her, obviously.

Most cringeworthy lyric: "Girl, hand me another beer, yeah! / All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown / But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out / Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat"

18. Play-N-Skillz feat. Redfoo, "Literally, I Can't (STFU)"

Cooper Neill / Stringer / Getty Images

Nothing like a guy straight-up telling the girl he's trying to get with to shut up.

Most cringeworthy lyric: You got a big ol' butt / I can tell by the way you're walkin / But you annoying me because you're talkin' / Bounce on the pogo / Jump on the jack hammer / Get low low low / While I instagram ya / Shh, don't talk about it, be about it / Work it and twerk it, and maybe I'll tweet about it"

19. Deniece Williams, "Let's Hear It For The Boy"

Angela Weiss / Stringer

It's kind of impossible to feature a single lyric from this song; to really understand how much of a fuckboy The Boy is, you have to hear Williams' thorough description of him. It's like she's desperately trying to convince everyone around her (and maybe herself?) that, although it must be obvious that The Boy does a lot of shitty things and just generally sucks, they really do have something special going.

For example:

"My baby, he don't talk sweet / He ain't got much to say / But he loves me, loves me, loves me / I know that he loves me anyway / And maybe he don't dress fine / But I don't really mind / 'Cause every time he pulls me near / I just wanna cheer"


And:

"You know you gotta understand / Oh, maybe he's no Romeo / But he's my lovin' one-man show"

And:

"My baby may not be rich / He's watchin' every dime / But he loves me, loves me, loves me / We always have a real good time / And maybe he sings off-key / But that's alright with me, yeah"

Get a grip, Deniece. You know it; we all know it. The Boy is a fucking loser.

Promoted

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss