Skip To Content

    39 Truths Every British-Born Pakistani Person Will Understand

    A glass of Pakota makes everything better.

    1. To your parents, something is either "first class" or "third class".


    And never anything in between.

    2. And people from the motherland are "freshies".


    As in, "fresh off the boat".

    3. While we're on the topic, people who've never been to the motherland are "coconuts".

    FOX / Via

    White on the inside but brown on the outside, in case you didn't get that.

    4. You know that nothing is more refreshing than a glass of the green stuff.

    5. Except maybe chai. You're worried you might actually be addicted.

    Today, we ran out of tea bags. All hell broke lose. MLID

    My Life Is Desi@MyLifeIsDesiFollow

    Today, we ran out of tea bags. All hell broke lose. MLID

    10:47 PM - 12 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

    6. You get overly defensive when people think you're Indian.

    Pakistan and India may have been the same country once upon a time, but they're not anymore. OK?

    7. And even if you hate all sports, as soon as the India vs. Pakistan cricket is on, your heart bleeds green.

    8. You either know everything about Pakistani politics...


    In which case, well done. Because that stuff is seriously hard to follow.

    9. ... or you know nothing at all.


    Which means you spend a lot of time sitting in silence and watching your dad and uncles argue it out. And all you'll ever remember is that Imran Khan used to play cricket.

    10. As far as your dad's concerned, doctors are the cream of the human population.


    Daaaaaactars are the gods of Pakistani society.

    11. And to your mum, there's nothing more important than having a good reputation.


    But beta, what will other people think?

    12. Except keeping up to date with Pakistani and Indian TV dramas.


    Which are full of flashing drama scenes, over-dramatics, and ridiculous plot-lines.

    13. She also lives in constant fear of "nazar/hasad/evil eye".


    If something good happens to you, you can't tell people because nazar.

    14. And replaces every word she doesn't know with "woh".

    Today, my Mom told me to fetch "woh cheez" for her, and that is was located "uske samne" MLID

    My Life Is Desi@MyLifeIsDesiFollow

    Today, my Mom told me to fetch "woh cheez" for her, and that is was located "uske samne" MLID

    5:00 PM - 11 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

    15. As soon as revision time hits, she'll bust out the badaam.

    16. Your family taught you to be over-hospitable.


    If your guest hasn't eaten within 20 seconds of entering your house, you've failed as a human being.

    17. Which means that you often end up cleaning before your cleaner comes round.

    FOX / Via

    Because what would the cleaner think otherwise?

    18. And whenever you have guests round, your mum prepares at least 10 different dishes.

    19. Similarly, whenever you visit someone's house, you have to bring a gift.

    20. And whenever you visit family in Pakistan, you have to pack at least 5 suitcases of presents.

    21. When you go back to Pakistan, everyone thinks you live some ultra-glamorous life.


    In reality, you wish you had servants like them so you wouldn't have to do the washing up.

    22. You know that, even if you're at the top of your profession, this holds true.

    23. Talking of relationships, you'll either have a love marriage and end up with someone who your parents haven't pre-approved...

    Today, I told my mom that I want to have a love marriage. She just laughed at me. MLID.

    My Life Is Desi@MyLifeIsDesiFollow

    Today, I told my mom that I want to have a love marriage. She just laughed at me. MLID.

    5:00 PM - 01 May 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

    24. ... or you'll have an arranged one, and pray that it's not going to be with your first cousin.

    25. Either way, if you do end up getting married, you know you're in for one hell of a party.

    @saminajaved0 / Via Twitter: @saminajaved0

    And millions of people you don't even know will show up.

    26. You know that dawaats last all night, and if there's no one your age at them, they're unbearably dull.


    Dressing up in Asian clothes and going to someone's house to sit around isn't all it's cracked up to be.

    27. And if you're a woman, you'll spend the whole night helping out in the kitchen.


    You'll end up setting tables, cleaning up dishes, and serving chai, even though you're not even in your house.

    28. Being a Pakistani man comes with its own set of problems, though. Like experiencing serious deja vu every time you go to the airport.

    29. But at least you don't have to worry about how fair you are.

    desi-problems tumblr / Via

    30. You know that the "community" is all-seeing.

    Via Facebook: BestBrownVines

    And if they catch you, shit's gonna go down.

    31. Your parents' friends are either "uncles" or "aunties".


    In return, they call your friends and you "beta and 'bheti".

    32. And if you don't say "Salaam" to each auntie upon meeting them, they'll call you a disrespectful child with no manners.

    33. But hey, at least you get to feel like a celebrity when you get picked up from the airport.

    34. Even if gossip takes on a whole new meaning when you're Pakistani.


    The time between you doing something and everyone knowing about it can literally be measured in milliseconds.

    35. No matter how hard you try, you're always late.


    It's in your blood. Probably.

    36. Whenever you meet a fellow Pakistani, your first question is, "Yeah but where are you from?"


    Because you need to find out whether they're from Karachi, Lahore, or Islamabad so you can judge accordingly.

    37. And then you'll establish who speaks better Urdu.

    And if your Urdu's not up to scratch, you'll be told you've lost touch with your culture.

    38. Your parents spend a lot of time reminiscing about the "good, old days" in Pakistan.

    39. But hey, there are places in every city that'll make you feel like you're at home.

    Via / Creative Commons

    Visit Southall or Green Street in London, and you'll feel like you're wandering down the streets of Pakistan.

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form