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Which Piece Of BA Class Of 2020 Trash Are You?

Created by the Roast Master Genius, Sophia, with the help of the only decent person in this program, Adria, this quiz is a masterpiece. Highly accurate, if you aren’t satisfied with your results, you must be an unsatisfactory person. Ha ha, just kidding, but yes. This quiz will make you reconsider who you REALLY are as a person. You’re welcome.

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  1. What is your most iconic moment in the B.A. program thus far?

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    Four words: condom on a banana
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    Starting my monologue by just saying “Fuck.”
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    Reciting the “Out Damn Spot” monologue on command in IPE because Adrienne asked you with the wrath of a thousand suns and you are just that much of a Shakespeare nerd
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    Literally slapping Sylvia in Shakespeare Translate
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    Dancing with my father in ensemble
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    Your impromptu one-woman showing of Cats in the Caf that was utterly stunning and should get you all the Tony’s
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    When you did the nasty with a woman with a heart of stone ;-)
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    Making cookies for everyone within the first 48 hours of us arriving here
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    When I lead the warm-ups in Ensemble to the tune of the Jellyfish Jam from the iconic show Spongebob Squarepants; MAGIC.
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    Giving everyone goosebumps when you sang “House of the Rising Sun” in performance ensemble
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    When you shaved your soul patch, FINALLY.
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    Deep throating a banana
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    having your midterm monologue be about forgetting your monologue and convincing two professors that you actually did to the point that they almost fail you out of acting #crafted
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    When Adrienne roasted you by telling you not to throw the imaginary pebble like a girl
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    Pouring out your water bottle into a mason jar then proceeding to spill the water all over yourself for your one-minute scene
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    sweetbunzzzzzzzzzzz
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    Stripteasing for everyone in movement class
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    My screamo singing
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    My portrayal of a foot fetishist
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    Two words: circle banana
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    Kicking myself in the ass then busting my cuboid bone and spraining my ankle on the way down
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    The only time a man sat on my face he broke it
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    Anytime I’m at TJ’s
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    Man in a tiny box impression
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    long nails, high heels, don't care
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    When everyone found out I was ancient
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    Having sex with a table
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    Cosmin constantly ignoring me
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    Your impression of Donna from the Caf
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    My on the spot one-man rendition of the ending of West Side Story
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    Whacking noah with a pillow with the wrath of a thousand suns
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    Watching Noah have sex with a table
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    Jumping the turnstyle, getting caught, being fined $100, then making a somewhat successful gofundme to pay it off because you are poor
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    Kind of directing Shakespeare Translate
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    My brown crayon monologue in Ensemble
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    "Lose the bevel" - Adrienne
  2. Did you get naked for Private Moment?

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    HECKY YEA
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    Kind of...???
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    Ew, no you pervert.
  3. What color is your aura?

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    Chartreuse
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    Cerulean Blue
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    Plum
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    Salmon
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    Ivory
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    Golden yellow, but not like piss yellow
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    What color is the Plan B box?
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    Lime Green
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    Lapis
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    Maroon
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    Lavender
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    Pumpkin Orange
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    Seafoam
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    Vermillion
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    Amethyst
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    Sun Yellow
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    Mauve
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    Aquamarine
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    Sangria
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    Forest Green
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    Barbie Pink
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    Apricot
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    Indian Red (I'm from South Jersey so that name doesn't offend me at all)
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    Weed
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    Steel Gray
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    Neon Orange
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    Sienna
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    Cadet Blue
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    Orchid
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    Navy Blue
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    Cerise
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    Teal
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    Cyan
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    Harlequin
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    Rose
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    Jazzberry Jam
  4. What is your catchphrase?

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    Oh, muffin.
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    *interrupts someone mid-sentence” ok, ok, ok, I see what you’re saying, BUT, here’s the thing…
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    I can’t
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    You’re/That’s silly
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    *inappropriately pinching someone from behind*
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    HAW HAW daddy.
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    Well in the Japanese culture… blah blah blah
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    My dick is made of concrete
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    Shiiit
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    Quirky
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    Anyone going to TJ’s?
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    Amen/Preach/Honey/Lawd/Child/Jesus take the wheel
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    Hey guys, if you aren’t doing anything tonight, tune in to my radio show at 10PM!
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    *moans in discomfort*
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    *speaks in a Miranda Sings voice*
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    Zayum zaddy
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    *burst out into a musical theatre song while getting dangerously close to someone’s face*
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    *laughing like a disney villain*
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    mmmm… greaaat.
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    *makes big bug eyes*
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    Oh my God.
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    I spent the night in Brooklyn at Chelsea’s getting drunk and petting her cat
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    Does anyone wanna play JUMP?
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    Are you dead?
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    I'm with her / #not my president / It's Friday night LADIES
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    Is it vegan?
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    BORES YOU???
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    I like cool humans
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    I'm a vegan
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    DOG! *stares intensely into the eyes of smaller, fluffier being*
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    When you gonna write that play, Ryan???
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    When I worked at Universal...
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    OH MY GOD GUYS!! GAME OF THRONES? LIGHTNING THEIF? HARRY POTTER????? *TRIGGERED*
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    Wanna see my rock collection
  5. What is Daddy Cosmin most likely to yell at you for?

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    Talking too much
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    Not making rehearsal time a priority
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    Bringing in your mom to UNV 101 class
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    Not reading the play
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    Losing weight or changing your appearance because you already are perfect for broadway
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    He doesn’t understand a goshdarn word I’m saying
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    SLOW DOWN
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    Cosmin would never yell at me because I’m his favorite
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    For breaking mirrors, cutting my hands open and bleeding all over the floor
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    Not taking a breath before I start my monologue
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    To be a strong independent woman
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    Not being loud enough
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    Being on my phone
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    Not looking enough like a peacock
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    To switch roles in the scene I already put so much hard work into
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    To explore being a barbie doll
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    To stop taking the play so literal
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    To look at the apple better
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    He doesn’t, cause I got the dirt
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    To stop acting like a child: BE MORE SEXY
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    He hasn't yet...
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    Yell?
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    my hands in my pockets
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    Uhhhh he doesn't
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    What do you mean? I'm a great actor
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    To be more powerful
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    To play younger characters
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    stop being awkward
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    To act more like a wimp
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    To step back
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    To do more!
  6. Where’s the homeland?

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    Eh, New Jersey
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    Baltimore, Maryland
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    Same, Baltimore
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    NYC bbg
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    the woods, New Hampshire
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    Visalia, California
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    Long Island (best drink at TJ’s yum yum in my tum tum)
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    Pittsburgh
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    LA (hoppin’ to dem big cities like a muthafukkin bunny rabbit biish)
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    Sandwich, Massachusetts (no joke I hate the people who name towns)
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    Richville, New Jersey
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    Shitstain, New Jersey
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    SomewhereIdon’tknow, Maryland
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    Allenstown, Pennsylvania (What the fuck is that trash who was Allen and what did he do to deserve a town in bumblefuck nowhere?)
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    3-feet-of-snow-spring-break, New York
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    CHICITAY BABY EYYY #flytheW #chicagopride #westside
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    Whocares, Maine
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    Interlochen Arts Academy
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    Colorado Springs, Colorado
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    Basically-Portland, Oregon
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    Oxford (Ooooo soooooo culturrrred)
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    Virgin Islands (my tan proves it)
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    Kind of everywhere I guess?????
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    Universal Studios, Florida
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    Valley Cottage, New York (SERIOUSLY WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES)
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    Middle of California, San Jose-ish?
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    Phillycheesesteak, Pennsylvania
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    Jersey, Boiiiii
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    Queens, NY
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    New Jersey
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    The Pitt of Pittsburgh
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    Disney World, Florida
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    Long Island
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    Cali Boy
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    Florida
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    Jerseyyyyyyy
  7. If you weren’t allowed to do anything with theatre, what would you be doing instead?

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    Become the top Shakespearean History scholar in the whole flippin world
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    Achieve my deserved Saintdom
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    Well, I walk dogs for WAG and am A-M-A-Z-I-N-G at it so I go that going for me
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    Political Activist for People of Color
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    Something where I make memes for a living because I am a walking meme
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    Nutritionist
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    Move to Japan and live out my days frolicking in a field of cherry blossom trees
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    Maybe a teacher, but only high school or college because I have to be able to swear
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    Obstacle course tester
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    become a rock
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    Weed farmer
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    Rot away in a small studio apartment in brooklyn creating erotic sculptures depicting the inner workings of my twisted mind
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    Take everyone to church to save their sinful asses AMEN.
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    Barber to help my brothers achieve as sharp of edges and as smooth of fades as I boast of on the daily
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    Mathematician by day, hip-hop dancer by night
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    Political Activist for LGBTQ Community
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    Fashion designer where all my designs are inspired by memes
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    Yoga instructor
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    Run a pretentious music blog on only 80s metal
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    sweetbunzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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    Eat my twin so I can absorb his power
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    Being a mom, because children are the only decent things in this world
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    Well I have like 12 other majors I am pursuing sooooooo…
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    Park Ranger
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    Kindergarten Teacher
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    Bunch of odd-jobs, like stilt walking, you know normal stuff
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    Don’t make me think about that
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    Anything but a driving instructor
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    Become an ASL interpreter
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    Form a dance troop and lead those five-year old ballet dancers to the Goddamn top
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    Running a local coffee shop
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    Live with Chelsea and baby-sit her cat
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    Cry.
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    join the circus
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    I like games
  8. How close are you to your Bigs?

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    My bigs are my literally family WE ARE BLOOD.
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    I’m pretty close with them I guess? I mean we talk.
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    Well I’m dating my big sooooooo…
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    I literally had no idea who they were until like three weeks ago
  9. Who is your favorite teacher? I promise I won’t tell ;-)

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    Cosmin
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    Thomas "TK" Keith
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    Adrienne
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    Seb
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    Jon Froelich
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    BISH I'M OUTTA HERE HAHA BYE
  10. What is your spirit animal?

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    Golden Retriever
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    Lovelace from “Happy Feet”
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    A plant, specifically some sort of succulent
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    A Rock
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    Tommy from TJ’s
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    Pikachu
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    Stephen Sondheim
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    Ostrich
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    SpongeBob Squarepants
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    harry potter chipmunk
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    Miranda Sings
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    A dirty koala
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    Some graceful-ass bird
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    Hedwig the Owl
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    Chelsea’s cat
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    Meerkat
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    Mufasa
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    Gilly from SNL
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    velociraptor
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    blue bottomed baboon
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    Kermit the frog
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    Superman
  11. OK LAST QUESTION. Ianthe or Mike?

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    OMG IANTHE ALL THE WAY I WOULD JUMP OFF A BRIDGE IF SHE TOLD ME TO
    Correct
    Incorrect
    MIKE MIKOS IS BAE OMG ZAYUM ZADDY YEET
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