30 Things To Help You Stop Saying "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"
Things to help you have a stain/burn/scratch/______-free life!
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1. A set of furniture socks to keep your floors safe from scratches and make you feel like you have a pet (kind of).
2. A car seat protector so you can ride around with the only acceptable back seat driver without getting pet hair all over your vehicle.
3. A pack of 100 cabinet bumpers because you die a little inside every time someone slams your beautiful (and expensive) cabinets, but these will help.
5. A set of heel protectors to keep your favorite heels from sinking into the grass and getting dirty.
6. And a pack of four heel tip protectors for reviving heels with tips that have been stomped down to the nail.
7. A curved baby bib so the half of the meal that doesn't make it into their mouth won't ruin their cute outfit.
9. A set of four coasters for letting people know that you mean business when it comes to your table.
11. A mattress protector because sometimes the liquids won't be as harmless as what's coming out of that cup below.
12. A stainless steel cleaning spray and microfiber cloth that'll take your fridge from smudged to sparkling!
14. A spandex luggage cover so when the airport staff tosses it around like a piece of garbage, it doesn't come back to you looking like a piece of garbage.
15. A couch protector — it'll be way more comfortable than the plastic your grandma uses to cover *her* couches.
17. A door guard so your pooch doesn't scratch up the door frame every time they're begging for a walk.
18. A step through gate for keeping babies and pets confined to areas where they can do the least damage.
19. A glass water bottle ideal for clumsy water snobs who swear it tastes better out of a glass but can't keep a glass bottle alive for more than a week.
21. A bitter nail polish — it may help you keep your manicure looking nice for more than five minutes.
22. An eye glass chain because it'll be cheaper to buy a chain than to replace your glasses for the hundredth time.
23. A pack of at-home dry cleaner cloths so you don't wear your nice shirts once and then leave them in the hamper for a year while you procrastinate a trip to the cleaners. You're better than that!
24. A heat-resistant hot tools holder to protect your house from having random burn marks everyyyyyyywhere.
26. A pack of two tempered glass phone screen protectors that'll be total lifesavers when they shield your phone from cracks, scratches, and dust.
27. A Furminator de-shedding pet brush because you love your big fluff ball, but you'd probably love them more if every surface of your home wasn't covered in fur.
29. A 10-pair pack of replacement earbud tips for when you inevitably lose or break that piece... 10 times.
30. And doormat that'll hopefully make burglars think twice before they break in (or at the very least clean off their shoes so they don't dirty your floors).
This guy can't have nice things... but you can!
The reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.