12 Things Adoptive Parents Are Tired Of Hearing
"They're so so lucky you picked them..."
1. "How could anyone not love a little face like that?"
2. Any sentence that contains the words "Real Mum" or "Real Dad".
I'm their Dad thanks very much, their real Dad if you really want to put it like that.
I'm the one that is doing all the dirty nappies, all the feeding, all the playtimes, bathtimes, bedtimes, stories, plasters, swimming/violin/tennis/karate/recorder lessons and everything else that a "real" Mum or Dad does.
It just so happens that my child has a birth Mum and Dad, or sometimes a tummy Mummy that one day, when they're ready we'll help them find out all about.
3. "They're so lucky they've got you."
4. "Who do they look like?"
They look like themselves, duh!
Everyone's different, we may share some genetic similarities to our biological parents, and occasionally we even look a little like people we have no direct genetic link to at all, we realised just the other week that my Dad looks a lot like Biggins when a concierge asked him for his autograph! They're definitely not related!
During the adoption process we may get the opportunity to see photos of – or even meet – birth family members, but don't ask us who they look like.
5. "Was it really worth all the scrutiny from social workers?"
6. "You're like superheroes rescuing these children like you have!"
Again, not really! In a movie a hero would rescue someone well before they were hurt in any way. Our children will have been hurt, it might not be a hurt you can see but it will definitely be there.
Having said that I do like wearing a cape sometimes...
7. "Bet it was really uncomfortable when you had to pick up the little one from the foster carer?"
8. "You know you're probably going to get pregnant now you've adopted don't you..."
Firstly, maybe someone did once and this story has just carried on through the years, but in all likelihood this is complete rubbish.
Secondly, and as all adoptive parents with birth children will tell you, it will not make one jot of difference whether we first meet our little one in a hospital maternity ward or a foster carer's front room, both children will be special and loved infinitely no matter where they came from.
9. "You'll have to really spoil them you know..."
10. "Yeah but you'll love your own kids more though won't you?"
Of course not, in our eyes they're all "our own kids", we don't love any single one of them a single ounce more or less than the next one.
They don't get treated any differently or get any special treatment.
11. "So, what's wrong with them then?"
12. "Aren't you just being a bit silly not putting photos of them on Facebook, what's the worst that could happen?"
If you want to put photos of your kids all over the internet that's fine, we're not going to tell you if it's right or wrong. It's a great way to let your nearest and dearest keep up to date with how you're all getting on.
However, sometimes it isn't just your friends and family that see your photos, and we owe it to our children to keep them safe and in a secure environment and not run the risk of any people who may want to track them down finding out where they might be.
So, not, it's not silly, just cautious!