Heartbreaking Things Said To Adoptees By Members Of Their Adoptive Family

In response to the "37 Ignorant Things These Sisters Commonly Hear About Adoption," which was done by an adoptive parent, a Tumblr called "Sh*tty things adoptive families say to adoptees" was created. The submissions, which all come from adoptees, are heartbreaking. Below are a few of them. You read the rest of them here: youshouldbegrateful.tumblr.com

A description of the Tumblr

"There's been some discussion recently about awful things said to adoptees by total strangers as though it's somehow a "new thing." It's not. Plus, what people also don't realize is that adoptive families sometimes make similar, if not worse, statements to adoptees. To help the public (which generally views adoption in the most positive and simplistic ways) get a better understanding, we share these submitted posts from adoptees. Indeed, adoption can be great for all involved, but it can also be incredibly painful, especially to those who live it daily."

From Renee

"I would never have adopted either one of you if your mother hadn't made me. She was the one who just had to have kids. I didn't want either one of you." "I promised the judge I'd support your ungrateful ass until you were 18. The minute you turn 18, I'm outta here." "I don't know where you got these horrible freckles. You look like a godamn turkey egg."

From Subini

"go back to the rice paddy" & "if we wouldn't have adopted you, you would have to have become a nun because no man would marry you."

From Melanie

"We always knew we would get the blond haired, blue eyed child someday…", "I always wanted an Oriental daughter and I got one.", "Can we get one that looks like you?" (from a prospective adoptive parent after I taught a workshop on transracial adoption), "It doesn't matter if your [adoption] papers were doctored, just imagine where you would be if they hadn't?"

From Kat

"That's your heritage coming out in you" in reference to perceived negative behavior. & "We already did our charity when we got you." I was 6 and wanted to donate to PBS/Sesame Street.

From Martha

"I wish we could send you back to Korea."