New Year’s Eve is typically the only day of the year when you’re encouraged to get shitfaced on champagne and make promises you probably won’t keep. (If you do that throughout the year, you’ll soon find yourself in a 12-step program.) Many people make resolutions to lose weight, to quit smoking, to spend more time with their families and other boring things, but let’s face it: Most resolutions are just admissions of the things we screwed up last year.
So instead of dwelling on those regrets, let’s focus on the resolutions of our most beloved literary characters. After all, their endearing fuck-ups have made them some of the most captivating figures in fiction. Here are 20 resolutions they would likely make and almost certainly not keep: