1. When I was a child, I won a dancing competition against Nick Offerman.

2. I have 40 toes.

3. I prefer to use highlighter to sign documents.

4. I firmly believe that if every mountain in the world had a giant zipper attached to it, we as a people would think about both mountains and zippers in a completely different way.

5. I'm developing over-the-head pants for Jaclyn Smith's clothing line at K-Mart.

6. I think every morning should start with a good unicycle ride on the roof to check the rain gutters.

7. I eat dinner for breakfast, breakfast for lunch, and lunch for dinner.

8. Every time I eat chili, David Wain smiles.

9. To calm down and clear my head...

10. With every movie I watch, I pretend it's the sequel to a better, more interesting movie from three years ago.

The Greatest Event in Television History airs Thursday at midnight on Adult Swim, and will be followed by a special announcement.