1. When I was a child, I won a dancing competition against Nick Offerman.
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2. I have 40 toes.
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Some of them are not connected to my body, and are for sale (not in the U.S.).
3. I prefer to use highlighter to sign documents.
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I came up with this genius idea to prevent someone from stealing my identity. Unfortunately my pockets are full of highlighters so I keep losing my wallet.
4. I firmly believe that if every mountain in the world had a giant zipper attached to it, we as a people would think about both mountains and zippers in a completely different way.
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5. I'm developing over-the-head pants for Jaclyn Smith's clothing line at K-Mart.
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They will cost $15,000.
6. I think every morning should start with a good unicycle ride on the roof to check the rain gutters.
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7. I eat dinner for breakfast, breakfast for lunch, and lunch for dinner.
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Snacks are a Thanksgiving feast. Except on Mondays when all meals are lunch, except lunch, which is a snack (Thanksgiving feast). Mondays!
8. Every time I eat chili, David Wain smiles.
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It's so weird.
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9. To calm down and clear my head...
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I like to drive around L.A. on a hot summer day with all the windows rolled up, the heater on, listening to radio static full blast.
10. With every movie I watch, I pretend it's the sequel to a better, more interesting movie from three years ago.
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Makes every movie disappointing. Try it!
The Greatest Event in Television History airs Thursday at midnight on Adult Swim, and will be followed by a special announcement.
