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What's Your Lame Patronus?

How will you defend yourself against evil?

Posted on
  1. Warner Bros.
  2. Warner Bros.
  3. Warner Bros.
  4. Warner Bros.
  5. Scholastic

What's Your Lame Patronus?

You got: BUGS

Hopefully that Dementor chasing you is squeamish, because you can only summon a handful of bugs. Congratulations!

BUGS
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: RACHAEL LEIGH COOK

...and not even Rachael Leigh Cook from the '90s. What is she doing now? Isn't she on TNT? Is she on Rizzoli and Isles or something? Is she Rizzoli?

RACHAEL LEIGH COOK
TNT
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You got: THE DODO BIRD

....except the dodo went extinct in 1662. Haha, looks like you're out of luck. Have fun in Azkaban.

THE DODO BIRD
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: A BLOBFISH

Ah, the mighty blobfish. No one's gonna mess with you! Probably because the blobfish is DISGUSTING.

A BLOBFISH
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: CHICKEN NUGGETS

This actually isn't as bad as it sounds. No Dementor can resist the succulent allure of processed chicken. Run away while he's scarfing on dem nugs!

CHICKEN NUGGETS
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: LEECHES

Throw a handful of leeches and hope your Dementor is super slow and frail, I guess?

LEECHES
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: WINTER DRYNESS

That Dementor is totally gonna kill you, but at least you can annoy him with itchy, flaky skin.

WINTER DRYNESS
en.wikipedia.org
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You got: SUZE ORMAN

Oh man, Suze Orman! She's totally gonna school that Dementor on how best to invest their money. That's gonna be one fiscally responsible Dementor!

SUZE ORMAN
MSNBC
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You got: PUBES

Eww.

PUBES
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