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    The Ten Feline Commandments

    Thou shalt meow.

    1. Thou shalt have no other cats before me, nor give nuzzles to other kitties, even if they are cute.

    2. Thou shalt not kill, for that is my job, except I won't kill anything all the way, and instead leave it on the carpet for you to finish off.

    3. Thou shalt upload no fewer than 3 photos of your cat to Instagram per week, but no more than 2 per day, as not to annoy thy followers.

    4. Thou shalt have no fewer than 12 nicknames for your pet.

    5. Thou shalt fill thy home with toys, treats, and at least one comfy cat bed in every room.

    6. Thou shalt be late for work if your kitty is particularly snuggly in the morning.

    7. Thou shalt give nibbles of your turkey sandwich to your kitty, because sharing is caring.

    Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to kitties. - Meowderonomy 13:16

    8. Thou shalt not leave drinks on the counter, lest they be knocked to the floor, because every flat surface is fair game for felines.

    For each will have to bear his own load of dirty dishes, because if you don't clean them your cat will knock them all to the floor and then you'll have to buy a new set at Ikea. - Meowverbs 6:5

    9. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's cat."

    10. Honor mine father and mine mother, even though my mother was an alleycat and my father was feral.