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    Mar 7, 2014

    The Definitive Ranking Of Every Playground Game

    The playground was Thunderdome, essentially.

    16. Wallball

    Flickr: scottt / Creative Commons

    Wallball, AKA "Butt's Up", "Ballsies", "Rump Rounders", "Buttock Blocker", "Red Butt," "Blackjack", "Assies' Rehab & Tea", "Slaughterhouse", "Fumble", "Butt Ball", "Beartrap", "Asses Up", "Suicides", "Stitch", "Peg", "Fire in the Bum", "A-Ball", "Buns Up", "Booties Up", "No Fear", "Red Bum", "Jetters", "Red Ass", "Red Out", "Sting", "Error", "Off the Wall", "Kirby", "Spread," or "Burn" wins the award for most nicknames.

    15. Foursquare

    Flickr: altuwa / Creative Commons

    Foursquare would've been a lot more fun if anyone could ever agree on the rules.

    14. Tag

    Flickr: joeshlabotnik / Creative Commons

    Honestly, tag is barely a game. It's something adults came up with to trick kids into running around for an hour.

    13. Duck Duck Goose

    Flickr: scottt

    Also called "Duck Duck Gray Duck" if you're a weirdo.

    12. Hide and Seek

    Flickr: thomasrhull / Creative Commons

    The only person who ever enjoys this game is the seeker. What's fun about hiding in a fucking bush for twenty minutes while some idiot in dungarees hunts for you?

    11. Hopscotch

    Flickr: daveparker / Creative Commons

    Are there actual rules to hopscotch? Literally nobody knows. The last person who knew the rules of hopscotch died in 1873.

    10. Crack the Whip

    J.Seward Johnson Jr.

    Super dangerous, but also super hilarious when someone on the end of the whip faceplants.

    9. Scavenger Hunts

    Flickr: span112 / Creative Commons

    Also known as "collecting garbage from a list," scavenger hunts were a nice, leisurely break from the usual brutality of the playground arena.

    8. Red Light, Green Light

    Jarek Tuszynski / Via

    Also called "Statues," this one was pretty fun... until an argument over whether or not someone moved dissolved the entire game.

    7. Red Rover

    Flickr: carolinaterp / Creative Commons

    Red Rover was an exercise in pain, plain and simple.

    6. Snowball Fights

    Flickr: cosmic_smudge / Creative Commons

    Elegant in its simplicity and every so slightly sadistic, snowball fights are the go-to winter game.

    5. Water Balloon Fights

    Flickr: paul-w-locke / Creative Commons

    Just a tad better than snowball fights, because getting hit was actually a refreshing treat.

    4. Jump Rope

    Flickr: bbarr / Creative Commons

    Jump Rope is GREAT. It combines jumping and singing, and jump ropes can also be used as a deadly weapon if someone on the playground pisses you off.

    3. Tetherball

    Flickr: amywhelan / Creative Commons

    Tetherball was awesome except you always got stuck playing against that one whiny brat who claimed you touched the string with your hand when you totally didn't.

    2. Freeze Tag

    Flickr: tm22 / Creative Commons

    Somehow adding a single strategic element to tag turns it into one of the best playground games ever.

    1. Parachute

    Flickr: thebiglunch / Creative Commons

    Parachute was the best game. Every time the teacher brought it out of storage, it felt like Christmas.

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