1. Going to Michael’s to redeem coupons makes your heart burst with glitter and confetti.
4. You’ve forgotten what it feels like to not have fingers caked in dried glue.
5. You’ve lost enough blood from X-Acto knife mishaps to fill a child’s swimming pool.
6. You can’t bring yourself to throw anything out, ever. You know the minute you do, you’ll think of a craft project that would’ve been prefect for yesterday’s garbage.
7. You kind of, sort of, just a liiittle bit relate to the people on Hoarders.
9. If a friend asks to borrow scissors, you need them to be more specific. “Do you want scalloped edges? Zigzags? Little waves? Why are you backing away from me slowly?”
10. Sometimes the inspiration for new crafting projects is so completely overwhelming that it threatens to destroy you.
11. Nothing makes you happier than when the UPS guy knocks on the door to deliver new crafting supplies.
12. …but every month when you review how much you spend on equipment and supplies, you have a minor emotional crisis.
13. You find it impossible to watch movies or TV shows unless your hands have a job to do.
14. You’ve lost all social graces in responding to acquaintances who innocently ask, “Can you make me something? I’ll buy you a drink.”
15. Sometimes you craft so late into the night, your hands cramp up and start to resemble Freddy Kreuger’s deformed claw hands.
16. You’d never actually do it, but you’ve kinda sorta considered acquiring a speed addiction so you can stay awake for weeks at a time to CRAFT CRAFT CRAFT.
17. Watching Etsy slowly turn into eBay cuts you to the core. You’ve tweeted at Obama to fix it but he hasn’t responded, strangely.
20. You’re turning into a crafting monster, but you’ve accepted this fact. Que sera sera.
- The Trump administration is reportedly considering a set of policies to prosecute parents who illegally enter the US with their children.
- Norma McCorvey, the woman behind the landmark 1973 Supreme Court case, Roe v. Wade, has died in Texas at 69.
- Mark Sanford held a town hall on Saturday that he organized with Indivisible, a group dedicated to holding members of Congress' feet to the fire.
- Donald Glover has been cast as Simba in Disney's remake of "The Lion King."