3. The holidays are exciting to you, not because of presents and family stuff, but because it means Christmas specials all month!
7. You frequently ask yourself, “Did I learn that in school or on The Magic School Bus?“
8. And when people ask you where you went to school, you catch yourself saying, “Third Street School…” before remembering that wasn’t a real institution.
11. …and later, you fantasized about staking them in the heart à la Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And honestly, you still fantasize about staking people on the subway sometimes.
13. There’s a constant running narration in your head about what’s going on in your life.
15. On more than one occasion you’ve cancelled plans with your real friends to hang out with your TV friends, because all your priorities are influenced by your cable box.
17. The greatest losses of your life are the early cancellations of your favorite shows. The heartache will follow you to the grave.
18. You sometimes get traumatic flashbacks of being grounded from TV privileges as a kid. That’s not a wound that heals easily.
21. You can’t imagine what your life would be like without television, because television is your life.
No. No, they’re the same. Hush.
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