What’s in a Dream was written in 1901 by Gustavus Hindman Miller.
Gustavus hated oysters and was sorta racist, apparently. Here are 31 of the more absurd explanations he wrote about dreams.
"There is little good in dreams of noodles. It denotes abnormal desires."
"For a woman to dream that she is peeling the skin from a lamb, and while doing so, she discovers that it is her child, denotes that she will cause others sorrow."
"Drinking buttermilk denotes sorrow will follow some worldly pleasure. To feed it to pigs is bad still. To dream of drinking buttermilk made into oyster soup denotes that you will be called upon to do some very repulsive thing."
"Dreaming of this is just about the same as to dream of the devil. Disenchantment with humanity will follow. To kill a boa constrictor is good."
"For a woman to dream that the owner of the store she works at is a corpse, and she sees that his face is clean shaven, fortells that she will fall below the standard of perfection held by her lover. If the head of the corpse is falling from the body, she is warned of secret enemies."
"Cheese is a bad dream. No good of any nature can be hoped for." LIES.
"For a woman to dream of drinking Coca-Cola signifies she will lose health and any chance to marry a wealthy man."
"Diamonds are omens of good luck, unless stolen from dead bodies."
"If a young woman eats celery with her lover, she will come into rich possessions." (Because celery is just so luxurious.)
"To dream you are being splattered with eggs denotes you will sport riches of doubtful origin."
"For a man to dream he is a girl, it signifies he is weak-minded, or that he is to become an actor and play female parts." What.
"If a woman dreams of drinking goat's milk, she will marry for money and not be disappointed."
"For a woman to dream that night overtakes her in a graveyard, and she can find no place to sleep but in an open grave, she will have disappointment through false friends."
Eating the Heart of a Chicken
"This denotes strange desires that will cause you to carry out difficult projects for your own advancement."
"To see a horse in human flesh, descending on a hammock through the air, and as it nears your house is metamorphosed into a man, and he approaches your door and throws something at you which appears to be rubber but turns into great bees, denotes miscarriage."
"To be in the company of a Jew signifies untiring ambition and longing after wealth. To argue with a Jew denotes your reputation is endangered from a business standpoint."
"If a woman dreams of admiring a mustache, her virtue is in danger."
"To see slimy and uncanny creatures rise up from a lake and menace you, denotes failure from squandering time."
"To dream you are in an orchard, and you see hogs eating the fallen fruit, it is a sign that you will lose property in trying to claim what is not really your own belongings."
"If your lemons are green, it denotes sickness and contagion." Um, those are just limes.
"To mash bedbugs, and water appears instead of blood, denotes alarming but not fatal illness. To see bedbugs crawling up white walls and you throw boiling water on them, denotes grave illness."
"So see a burly negro denotes rivals in business. If a woman sees a negro, she will be disappointed in a future lover. Negro children denotes many little anxieties. Old negroes denote sickness."
"Dreaming of Ouija boards foretells unlucky partnerships. If a negro steals your Ouija board, you will meet trials and vexation."
"If a woman dreams she is pregnant, it denotes she will be unhappy with her husband and her children will be ugly." LITERALLY WTF
"To dream of eating oysters denotes that you have lost all sense or propietry and morality in your pursuit of low pleasures."
"To dream you are covered in hair, you will resolve yourself into a world of your own, claiming the right to act for your own pleasure regardless of moral code."
"To see a dark-haired woman with blue eyes and a pug nose definitely determines your withdrawal from a race in which you stood a showing for victory. If she has brown eyes and a Roman nose, you will be cajoled into a dangerous game. If she is blonde, all your engagements will be pleasant."