I have a dog.I have a crush on someone at school.I'm afraid to go outside because something bad might happen.I have four hairs on my head and no hair on my body.My teeth are always loose and I don't know why.I have garlic breath even when I don't eat garlic.I accidentally kissed my dog once.I sort of liked it.My fingernails hurt all the time.I own 500 green sweater vests.Patti is the Mayonnaise for me, woah woah woah.Chalky Studebaker once cheated off me on a test, but that's OK.I think Chalky's dad is a DILF.I farted once for 90 minutes and had to go to the emergency room.I'm allergic to air.I was born with gills that had to be sewn shut.Sometimes I wake up crying.I swallowed a chicken bone by accident once and I haven't seen it come out yet, where is it?My best friend is a middle aged man with purple skin.I wonder what ice cream tastes like.
Are You Doug?
You are Doug. We are all Doug. You can't escape it. Embrace your Dougocity.
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