Are You Doug?

Honk honk.

  1. Check all that apply to you.
    1. 1 I have a dog.
    2. 2 I have a crush on someone at school.
    3. 3 I’m afraid to go outside because something bad might happen.
    4. 4 I have four hairs on my head and no hair on my body.
    5. 5 My teeth are always loose and I don’t know why.
    6. 6 I have garlic breath even when I don’t eat garlic.
    7. 7 I accidentally kissed my dog once.
    8. 8 I sort of liked it.
    9. 9 My fingernails hurt all the time.
    10. 10 I own 500 green sweater vests.
    11. 11 Patti is the Mayonnaise for me, woah woah woah.
    12. 12 Chalky Studebaker once cheated off me on a test, but that’s OK.
    13. 13 I think Chalky’s dad is a DILF.
    14. 14 I farted once for 90 minutes and had to go to the emergency room.
    15. 15 I’m allergic to air.
    16. 16 I was born with gills that had to be sewn shut.
    17. 17 Sometimes I wake up crying.
    18. 18 I swallowed a chicken bone by accident once and I haven’t seen it come out yet, where is it?
    19. 19 My best friend is a middle aged man with purple skin.
    20. 20 I wonder what ice cream tastes like.

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